Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…………
The Survivor episode that aired Thursday night started off with a rather surprising scene—-but hilarious nonetheless.
Big, tough guy Coach broke down and cried like Gloria Stivic used to do on All in the Family. You know…..the whining and the sobbing and the sniffling……When he was doing it, I was laughing my ass off. This wasn’t like Boston Rob a week earlier; at first I thought it was pretty similar. But in talking to a fellow rabid fan about it……the one who wants to be Mrs. Rob Mariano……she did convince me that the two breakdowns were actually pretty different.
Rob shed a few tears after going down from exhaustion in the woods and perhaps even knocking his skull a little bit. He was treated by medics and basically experienced something a bit frightening. So then he had a short moment of anxiety and vulnerability wherein he cried just a bit and realized how challenging the game was on a person after five years removed. He then collected himself and led his team to victory in the next challenge.
Coach, on the other hand, took it very personally when he was called out on the carpet in a Tribal Council discussion. This self described warrior, with all of his jackass survival stories and ancient training methods (to stay focused and mentally tough) sobbed like a baby when he realized not everyone exactly likes him. He’s just figuring this out ?? In discussing this element of the show with a different friend, he pointed out that apparently up to that point, Coach was completely oblivious to the perceptions other people have about him. He was seemingly unaware that he is often mocked and talked about behind his back. He must have thought that people really buy into his oddball stories and admire his whole warrior mentality. What a boob.
Tyson set his ass straight. Which seemed kind of odd in itself for Tyson to give anyone a sympathetic ear and the “kid gloves” treatment. Usually Tyson is leading the mocking and insults against another player. Which is why I have liked him as a player. But this time he spoke soothingly to Coach and settled him down. You know….like you do a 5 year old who lost her Barbie doll. But he did tell him that people don’t like his stories and the whole warrior machismo thing. They don’t like the ” feathers in the hair ” look he has been doing. Tyson said he needs to just do his work and do his thing at challenges and he will be alright.
Then Boston Rob told him to ” man up ” which I originally found to be kind of funny and ironic. But my friend is right. Rob cried, but then he did ” man up “. So telling Coach to do the same wasn’t asking him to do anything that Rob himself didn’t do. And that’s all the ass-kissing I will grant Boston Rob today !!
In the reward challenge, the contestants slid across a Slip N Slide so that they could grab a specific numbered ball. They then had to make a basket with the ball in order to score a point. I noticed how everyone in the challenge had obviously been greased up so that they could slide smoothly on the Slip N Slide. So of course, just to piss me off, the villains sat out hottie Parvati for this challenge. Our old buddy Gravedigger James looked he was about to try out for the Mr. Universe title when he was all greased up. What a speciman.
Coach rebounded nicely by scoring the first point for the villains. They went up 2-0 before the heroes got on the board. In the end, Tyson proved he was tough enough by scoring the winning point for the villains. The prize they won was a couple of items they had pre-selected from the Sears catalog.
Now again, I ask you……is this Survivor or Club Med? The first group of Survivors ever were plucked down on an island and had to fend for everything. These people get flints to start fires, they get tarps and blankets and pillows for their shelter, they get hooks and lines for fishing, and now they get to select items from the freakin’ Sears catalog ??
Give me a break.
Back at camp, the villains discovered that along with their prize items, one of them contained a clue to a hidden immunity idol. Over at the heroes camp, they soon discovered a clue leading to an idol near their own camp.
In the heroes camp, several people started looking for the idol right away. There wasn’t a lot of discussion about how the situation should be handled. But in the villain camp, it was quickly decided that no one was to even look for the idol and if they did, they would put a major target on their back. And if the idol was stumbled upon, it should be thrown into the ocean and nullified.
This didn’t sit well with pot-bellied Russell….although he did keep his feelings quiet (at least vocally). However, he was very transparent in announcing that he was ” going for a walk ” and aroused the suspicion of all his tribemates. They caught him searching for the idol and he certainly earned a huge target on himself.
On the heroes side, Fireman Tom found the idol. But Amanda saw him find it and stash it on his clothing. So she let others know what she had seen. Tom became more of a marked man just because the idol equals some power. Tom himself confided that he had the idol to both Colby and JT. So there really was no secret.
The immunity challenge was about rolling a large ball with a contestant locked inside. I guess the goal is to try and make the contestant a bit disoriented and dizzy because they roll him to a gameboard where that “dizzy” contestant now instructs others how to maneuver a smaller ball thru an obstacle course. Like the old mouse in the obstacle course looking for cheese. He does this by giving ” tilt ” instructions to his blindfolded teammates.
Boston Rob was the ” caller ” inside the ball for the villains. And Fireman Tom was the caller for the heroes. The villains won the challenge.
So once again, the heroes found themselves at Tribal Council.
The idea floating around camp was to do a split vote involving Fireman Tom and Good Ol’ Boy Colby. That way, Tom would feel pressured to play the idol and it would be flushed out and taken care of quickly. However, Tom was able to convince JT that it might be in his better interests to go against the grain. Apparently, JT agreed enough with Tom and felt bad enough about flipping on Tom once already (the Stephanie vote) because he ended up voting with Tom’s bloc.
They voted out big-mouth Cirie. Which I loved. She said she ” always feels vulnerable at Tribal Council “, but I do think she was pretty blindsided. All she does is lay around camp (for the third time in her Survivor career), do little to no work, and suggest stronger players to be eliminated. She has been recognized as a shrewd, strategic player by some. But her entire gameplan is to acknowledge how weak and crappy she is in challenges and such to another weak (and typically petite female) player and suggest that they vote out one of the alpha males. It is a strategy that has worked for her in the past and been admired by some viewers.
I’m just very happy to see her go. Like Neidermayer said in Animal House, she was never anything but “worthless and weak. A Goddamn disgrace !! “
See ya, Cirie. Now drop down and give me twenty !!