A Little From the Sports Pages

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

A couple of things have happened in the sports world with a local flavor.

On Friday, the Chicago Bears signed free agent Pro Bowl defensive end Julius Peppers to a huge contract. They also signed running back Chester Taylor away from the Minnesota Vikings where he’s been a pretty decent back behind mega-stud Adrian Peterson. Of course some over-excited news media people and a couple of the (comparitively) level-headed fans immediately stamped the moves as leading to at least a 10 win season and a return to the playoffs.

I’m not so sure about that. I like the moves, but if you go back and look at some of the earliest posts on this blog, I disagreed with most people that the acquisition of quarterback Jay Cutler was a Super Bowl guarantee. The media led that parade more than anyone else. These recent moves the Bears made definately improve the team a little more. And the cool thing that goes alongside the signing of Peppers is that Brian Urlacher also returns healthy. We played all but two quarters without him last year. I think he’s been a bit overrated the last three or four seasons, but he is still a Pro Bowler (or very close to it when healthy).

So when we line up next year, we will have two Pro Bowlers on the defensive line in Peppers and Tommie Harris. And then two of our three linebackers are Pro Bowlers with Urlacher and Lance Briggs. If just one more player steps up and has a really good year like Alex Brown with 10 sacks or Peanut Tillman with 6 or 7 interceptions, this defense could be pretty good.

And you’d think Cutler will have to improve over last season’s debacle. Devin Hester will be entering his third season as a wide receiver and has to have some growing confidence. The jackass we had at offensive coordinator is gone (Ron Turner) and we brought in a guy that knows what the hell he’s doing in Mike Martz. Factor in Matt Forte and Chester Taylor and hopefully we’ll score a little more next season. While the revamped defense is letting up less points.

But I’ll save any prediction for closer to the season after the injuries set in and the inevitable arrests and what-not. And let’s not forget that Lovie Smith isn’t the greatest coach in the world either.

My high school’s boys basketball team that I touted a few weeks ago won their Regional final over a tough Julian team. They’re now up to 26-1 and play Simeon today. It’s been an awesome season for the Lyons Township team, but I’m rather worried about going up against Simeon. I mean this team is legendary in Chicago. They’ve been a top team since I was an adolescent. That was 28, 29 years ago ! It is the alma mater of Chicago Bulls star Derrick Rose. When he played at Simeon just a few years ago, they won back-to-back state championships. Easily.

So the LT Lions really have their work cut out for them if this dream season is to continue. But Julian was a tough ass Chicago team too. I wish the Lyons Township team the best of luck.

Then we have spring training in full swing for major league baseball. Just a couple of more weeks and baseball is back ! We can forget all about the snow and the cold temps and enjoy a ballgame again. My fantasy baseball draft is a week from Saturday so I’ve been ranking players and studying up for a while now. And in yesterday’s mail, I received the entry sheets for a sweet homerun pool I play in. There’s usually over 11,000 people in this thing and if I were to win it just once, I wouldn’t have to worry so much about my unemployment running out.

Just once.

But these are all signs of the upcoming season and the start of actual spring. You gotta love it !

Meanwhile the Hawks are back at it after the Olympics break. After losing to the New York Islanders in New York—-which always happens—-they’ve whupped up on everybody else.

And the Bulls are still screwing around where they look great one night and then lose by twenty the next night at home. But it all adds up to about a .500 record. So my prediction from the Dirty Dozen prophecies is looking really good. I said 42-40 at best. And right around the 41-41 mark. Right now, the team is 31-31. So there’s twenty games to go and they have to go 10-10 or 11-9 to make me a genius.

Finally, we’re just about up to the NCAA tournament and all the hoopla that goes with that. Not so sure if I can play in any pools this year due to the shortage of funds. HEY…..it’s hard to play fantasy baseball, play in homerun derbies, and NCAA pools with no money, OK ?? But I’ll do what I have to to play in the baseball games.

I’ll still fill out a bracket sheet just to see how I would have done. The only bad thing is I’ll get pissed either way. If I make a bunch of horseshit picks, I’ll just be pissed at myself and how dumb I am. But even if I make a bunch of great picks where I would have dominated the pool……that would piss me off because of the earnings I could have had.

So maybe I shouldn’t even fill out a bracket this year.

Of course I will…….don’t be stupid !

Survivor has its first blindside

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…………

The Survivor episode that aired Thursday night started off with a rather surprising scene—-but hilarious nonetheless.

Big, tough guy Coach broke down and cried like Gloria Stivic used to do on All in the Family. You know…..the whining and the sobbing and the sniffling……When he was doing it, I was laughing my ass off. This wasn’t like Boston Rob a week earlier; at first I thought it was pretty similar. But in talking to a fellow rabid fan about it……the one who wants to be Mrs. Rob Mariano……she did convince me that the two breakdowns were actually pretty different.

Rob shed a few tears after going down from exhaustion in the woods and perhaps even knocking his skull a little bit. He was treated by medics and basically experienced something a bit frightening. So then he had a short moment of anxiety and vulnerability wherein he cried just a bit and realized how challenging the game was on a person after five years removed. He then collected himself and led his team to victory in the next challenge.

Coach, on the other hand, took it very personally when he was called out on the carpet in a Tribal Council discussion. This self described warrior, with all of his jackass survival stories and ancient training methods (to stay focused and mentally tough) sobbed like a baby when he realized not everyone exactly likes him. He’s just figuring this out ?? In discussing this element of the show with a different friend, he pointed out that apparently up to that point, Coach was completely oblivious to the perceptions other people have about him. He was seemingly unaware that he is often mocked and talked about behind his back. He must have thought that people really buy into his oddball stories and admire his whole warrior mentality. What a boob.

Tyson set his ass straight. Which seemed kind of odd in itself for Tyson to give anyone a sympathetic ear and the “kid gloves” treatment. Usually Tyson is leading the mocking and insults against another player. Which is why I have liked him as a player. But this time he spoke soothingly to Coach and settled him down. You know….like you do a 5 year old who lost her Barbie doll. But he did tell him that people don’t like his stories and the whole warrior machismo thing. They don’t like the ” feathers in the hair ” look he has been doing. Tyson said he needs to just do his work and do his thing at challenges and he will be alright.

Then Boston Rob told him to ” man up ” which I originally found to be kind of funny and ironic. But my friend is right. Rob cried, but then he did ” man up “. So telling Coach to do the same wasn’t asking him to do anything that Rob himself didn’t do. And that’s all the ass-kissing I will grant Boston Rob today !!

In the reward challenge, the contestants slid across a Slip N Slide so that they could grab a specific numbered ball. They then had to make a basket with the ball in order to score a point. I noticed how everyone in the challenge had obviously been greased up so that they could slide smoothly on the Slip N Slide. So of course, just to piss me off, the villains sat out hottie Parvati for this challenge. Our old buddy Gravedigger James looked he was about to try out for the Mr. Universe title when he was all greased up. What a speciman.

Coach rebounded nicely by scoring the first point for the villains. They went up 2-0 before the heroes got on the board. In the end, Tyson proved he was tough enough by scoring the winning point for the villains. The prize they won was a couple of items they had pre-selected from the Sears catalog.

Now again, I ask you……is this Survivor or Club Med? The first group of Survivors ever were plucked down on an island and had to fend for everything. These people get flints to start fires, they get tarps and blankets and pillows for their shelter, they get hooks and lines for fishing, and now they get to select items from the freakin’ Sears catalog ??

Give me a break.

Back at camp, the villains discovered that along with their prize items, one of them contained a clue to a hidden immunity idol. Over at the heroes camp, they soon discovered a clue leading to an idol near their own camp.

In the heroes camp, several people started looking for the idol right away. There wasn’t a lot of discussion about how the situation should be handled. But in the villain camp, it was quickly decided that no one was to even look for the idol and if they did, they would put a major target on their back. And if the idol was stumbled upon, it should be thrown into the ocean and nullified.

This didn’t sit well with pot-bellied Russell….although he did keep his feelings quiet (at least vocally). However, he was very transparent in announcing that he was ” going for a walk ” and aroused the suspicion of all his tribemates. They caught him searching for the idol and he certainly earned a huge target on himself.

On the heroes side, Fireman Tom found the idol. But Amanda saw him find it and stash it on his clothing. So she let others know what she had seen. Tom became more of a marked man just because the idol equals some power. Tom himself confided that he had the idol to both Colby and JT. So there really was no secret.

The immunity challenge was about rolling a large ball with a contestant locked inside. I guess the goal is to try and make the contestant a bit disoriented and dizzy because they roll him to a gameboard where that “dizzy” contestant now instructs others how to maneuver a smaller ball thru an obstacle course. Like the old mouse in the obstacle course looking for cheese. He does this by giving ” tilt ” instructions to his blindfolded teammates.

Boston Rob was the ” caller ” inside the ball for the villains. And Fireman Tom was the caller for the heroes. The villains won the challenge.

So once again, the heroes found themselves at Tribal Council.

The idea floating around camp was to do a split vote involving Fireman Tom and Good Ol’ Boy Colby. That way, Tom would feel pressured to play the idol and it would be flushed out and taken care of quickly. However, Tom was able to convince JT that it might be in his better interests to go against the grain. Apparently, JT agreed enough with Tom and felt bad enough about flipping on Tom once already (the Stephanie vote) because he ended up voting with Tom’s bloc.

They voted out big-mouth Cirie. Which I loved. She said she ” always feels vulnerable at Tribal Council “, but I do think she was pretty blindsided. All she does is lay around camp (for the third time in her Survivor career), do little to no work, and suggest stronger players to be eliminated. She has been recognized as a shrewd, strategic player by some. But her entire gameplan is to acknowledge how weak and crappy she is in challenges and such to another weak (and typically petite female) player and suggest that they vote out one of the alpha males. It is a strategy that has worked for her in the past and been admired by some viewers.

I’m just very happy to see her go. Like Neidermayer said in Animal House, she was never anything but “worthless and weak. A Goddamn disgrace !! “

See ya, Cirie. Now drop down and give me twenty !!

Why in God’s Name Would You Cheat ??

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

I’ve explored a couple of angles of infidelity in some previous posts. In one of them, I just observed that for the most powerful people around, cheating on their spouse comes with the territory. If you are a Congressman or a captain of industry, there is just a sense of entitlement that comes with it. Tiger Woods himself said as much in his recent televised speech. And in another post, I took him to task personally for his indiscretions. So I don’t need to brow-beat him any further.

But there is one more aspect of infidelity that I just don’t get and can’t comprehend. And that is when a guy has one of the hottest, most desirable women in the world as his mate and still cheats on her. He wakes up next to a goddess every morning that most men would give their right arm to be with for one, single night and these men feel the need to be unfaithful. I just don’t get it.

Of course, the whole concept of being powerful and the sense of entitlement comes into play big-time here. The guys I am referring to are almost always high-profile celebrities themselves and are used to getting anything they want with few consequences. But even so, when you have landed one of the most sought-after females on the planet and are not satisfied (????)…….I just don’t get it.

Let’s consider Tiger himself. This guy has a world-class beauty in Elin Nordegren. When you see the modeling shots and the publicity shots they flash on the gossip shows as they dissect these people’s marital dilemma, what the hell is that guy thinking ? He scored one of the hottest babes in the world and he feels the need to hook up with a bunch of decidely less attractive women? If I could shoot 18 holes of golf, collect a six figure prize payout, and then go home and celebrate with that honey all night long? I’d be the envy of 99% of the globe. Apparently that isn’t satisfying enough.

How about the King of the Knockouts, Tommy Lee ? Here is a man that was married to Heather Locklear when she was in her young 20’s and one of the most smokin’ women ever. Still is in my opinion, actually. But this guy had to stray and be unfaithful and willingly gave her up. Is this man nuts? I mean, I know the rock star lifestyle with women throwing themselves at you night-after-night and the partying and the decadence……but are the sluts who hang out at the hotel of a higher quality than a 26 year old Heather Locklear? Perhaps their breakup was also fueled by drug abuse and other common issue to that lifestyle. But if he stuck it in any other chick when he had Heather waiting for him backstage, or back at the hotel room, or back home…….he’s got to be a moron.

Then he hooks up with perhaps the perfect female specimen on planet Earth in Pam Anderson. I mean, if aliens came down in a space ship and said bring us the ultimate female, I’d have to think that one of the women we would parade out would be Pam Anderson. No ?? And this guy, who had already disposed of Heather Locklear, now found something allegedly better than Pam Anderson. Again, the lure of the road and the groupies is mighty. But those skanks are better than Pamela Anderson ? No freakin’ way. Like everyone else, I’ve seen the video. Uh-uh. No way.

Who else has inexplicably cheated on one of the hottest women one can find? Well, there’s the whole Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards —–  Richie Sambora/ Heather Locklear tango. Denise Richards claims she never hooked up with Richie Sambora until he had split with Locklear and she and Heather were no longer even friends. Whatever. And I’m sure that babe-hound Sheen cheated on Richards throughout their marriage. With sleazy hookers none-the-less. And why? Denise Richards is a bit loopy, but I would worship that woman until she was six feet under. And again, Heather Locklear is at the center of a straying man. What is it with this woman ? Is she lousy in bed? Somebody please give me the opportunity to explore this theory myself !! Pretty please with sugar on top !!

Who else? The story is that actor Ethan Hawke found the family nanny more desirable than his wife, Uma Thurman. Supermodel Christie Brinkley’s husband found the need to get up with another woman. How is this possible ?

How about when British actor Hugh Grant was caught in the car with a scummy hooker when he was dating mega-babe Elizabeth Hurley ?

Will someone please pass along my number to these jilted women just in case they want to get back at these blundering idiots ?

The list goes on and on. Kobe Bryant’s wife is a hot little number. And he found an employee at a hotel to be more alluring ? Jude Law strayed on actress wife Sienna Miller. Again with the nanny. What……are these nannies fresh out of Playboy or something?

There has long been a rumor that Brad Pitt cheated on wife Jennifer Aniston with current-wife Angelina Jolie while making Mr and Mrs Smith. Now this one is a slightly different situation. Angelina Jolie is one hot piece. But to cheat on Jennifer Aniston ?  Hey, I’ve been watching reruns lately of Friends late at night and sometimes I have to think about taking a cold shower before bed. 

All I know is that I have never been with a Heather Locklear or a Denise Richards or a Pam Anderson and I still have never felt the insatiable urge to cheat. There’s a few women I know right now that aren’t supermodels or Hollywood actresses, but if they gave me the time of day, I’d never even think of stepping out on them. I’d work every day to keep them happy. Jump thru hoops. Partly because I’m not Brad Pitt or Tommy Lee. And partly because these women are just plain beauties. These women are beautiful enough that they’d instantly jump to the #1 spot on my all-time list of bedded babes. And I’d be one grateful SOB. You can believe that.

Nothing against those that have made my day in the past.

But if I were to connect with one of these women in my own little, quiet life in the near future, it would take an Alyssa Milano or someone to even turn my head. And even then, I wouldn’t.

I just don’t get these guys.

Approaching the wrong side of 40

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

In about a week, I’ll be turning 40.

It hadn’t even dawned on me until the last few days. I have much greater things to worry about at this precise moment such as finding work and meeting the April 1 rent. But as I inch closer to that ceremonial mark—that is really the first big milestone since 21—it is finally creeping into my head.

Holy Mother of Mary…..I’m gonna be freakin’ 40 years old !!

It seems like I just registered with the Selective Service at the age of 18. It seems like I just turned 21 even though I’d been frequenting bars since I was about eighteen. It seems like I just turned 30 which was actually no big deal.

But now I’m going to be 40 and I have to start making plans for some kind of grandiose mid-life crisis. I’m not even sure what to do about that. Should I hook up with some 24 year old hottie? Should I buy a fancy sports car as soon as I land my next job?

I already live a lifestyle like Charlie Sheen’s character on 2  1/2 Men. So as far as boozing, gambling, carousing and bumbling around……I already do that. At the moment.

So how am I supposed to handle this “40″ thing ?

Well, I have me a little plan.

The last three decades, I’ve looked at my life in ten-year spans. From ages 10-20, those are easy to summarize. The first part of that decade, I was like any other kid. I still followed all the rules of my parents’ house. I went to school every day and I worried about getting good grades and all that. I discovered girls around 12, 13, or 14. All of that stuff. And then from 15-20, I discovered the easier ways to make a little money. I started testing my boundaries and seeing what I could get away with. Skipped school once every couple of weeks. Started partying…..first just a little boozing. Then a little harder and a little harder.

So that was the typical decade of exploration, discovery, and trying new things.

From 20-30, it was pure decadence. My buddies and I thought of ourselves as a little crew, so to speak. We had two dozen ways to make money without actually going to work. I still went to work and began my career as a pencil pusher. But it was that decade where you could go out every night until 2 in the morning and crawl into work the next day and still be productive. Then there was the extra money and the women and the good times that came with it. My first house. The first trips out to Vegas. The being “banned” from local bars for rowdiness, fighting, etc. The bachelor parties and the crazy weddings. Lots of court appearances and chemicals going on. Oh, did I mention the women ?  

At age 30, I made a very conscious decision to stop all of the under-the-table things I had going on and just work my job (before I got myself arrested) and work toward moving up to the next level in my life. Which I did. On my 30th birthday, I abandoned all of the ways I was making money except for my weekly paycheck. I got up, went to work, did my thing, and lived a much cleaner lifestyle….for a while. I reached the precipe of my life thus far by buying a 3 bedroom house with a yard and a basement. And nearly at the same time, I suffered my greatest loss. Which resulted in a downward spiral health-wise.

It took the rest of my 30s to overcome my loss, regain my health, and finish the last 4 years of the decade as a refocused, re-energized, upstanding member of society.

Which is where I find myself as birthday number 40 fast approaches. Yes, I’m out of work at the moment. But it had / has nothing to do with a sordid lifestyle. Or being unreliable. Nothing like that. It’s been all about the economy like 25 million other people. But my future plan is all set in my head.

I’m as healthy as I’ve been since about the age of 17. I’m surrounded by good, decent-valued, admirable people (versus the company I used to keep from about 22-36). I’m driven, focused, and have my sights set on what I want. As soon as I land my next job, I can see my 40s being the most productive, clean living, happy decade of my life.

I’m so totally ready. To travel. To be a good friend. To be someone that can be counted on. To advance my career thru achievement and reliability. To start saving for my old age—-which I never really figured to see in my 20s and 30s. To contribute to the community I live in. To get in better shape and become even healthier. Not just as a resolution per se……but just because I’m no longer poisoning myself and surrounded by like-minded people.

So that’s the sort of mid-life crisis I have planned.

Oh, there still may be a new truck and a closet full of nice suits and some of that. But I am just dead-set…..totally intent……not a doubt in my mind …….ready to make these next ten years the best ones of my life thus far. I am going to kick this decade’s ass !

There’s no granchildren on the cusp. There’s no celebrating twenty years with the same company. There’s no twentieth wedding anniversary around the bend. It’s what I do from next week forward. 

I’m ready. Put me in, Coach.

40 ain’t nuthin’ but a number !!

Looking For Jobs the Worst Job of All

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

So I’m still looking for work in this country after 14 months. Somehow when I turn on the TV and watch those six (and seven) figure newscasters spout off that the recession is over and the economy is on the upswing, I just don’t know what planet they’re really on. Of course the same goes for the entire White House and anyone associated with government. Out of all the people in the United States…….everyone from Hollywood actors and actresses…..to pro athletes……..to the homeless…….to doctors, nurses, lawyers, garbage men, teachers, and even high school kids………

it is those two factions (government officials and news media people) that seem to be the most clueless and out of touch with their own nation. And when I say government officials, I’m not talking about lower-end government employees like postal workers and the good, helpful folks at the DMV or the unemployment office. Those folks are just regular people like most of us.

I’m talking about Senators, Congressman, the Cabinet, chief advisors, the President, the VP, and those sort of people. You know…..the ones that believe they have the pulse of the nation, but are actually oblivious to what is going on with citizens on a daily basis. Like when Obama made that statement admitting, “We realized that the economy/recession was a lot worse than we even thought after the election and taking office.”

He had just completed a months-long tour of the nation making one speech after another in struggling regions and (allegedly) talking and listening hard to the constituents whose votes he desperately sought……..and he still couldn’t grasp what he was seeing and hearing.

I’ve heard it said numerous times now—-by media and the White House only—-that the recession is over. I myself always considered it another Great Depression. But whatever it should be called, according to these people, it is over.

So I guess like them…..Obama, Senator Bunning, the head of the Federal Reserve, newscasters and talkies like Brian Williams, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Bill O’Reilly, et al……….we can all go back to our mansions in our hired cars and have our nice hot dinner before climbing under our silk sheets for the night. All is well again.

Even those journalists who like to portray themselves as our friend; our “buddy”; someone who thinks they actually walk in our shoes and share similar daily problems…….they are not our buddies, they could care less about us really, and they are as out of touch as the competitors (in their field) that they mock and bash every night as not having a clue.

I say all of this because except for those two groups of people (government officials and media bigshots), no one I know thinks we are even close to being done with the recession. No one I know has any confidence whatsoever in the economy. Everyone I know is still scared shitless and wondering when their unemployment extension is going to run out. None of them are sitting back and enjoying “the handouts we’ve been getting” . Everyone I know has a similar work ethic to me and wants desperately to be back to work and regain their sense of worth. Yet, about 60% of the top 100 people in my life are still out of work.

Since January 1, 2010 I know of one friend who has found a new job. Just one. And he found it by working his contacts and network system to death—-same as myself and all my other out-of-work friends and acquaintances do. But he got lucky to have one of them work out and land a position. He took a $15 K  paycut and he’s clicking his heels about it.

On the flip-side, I know of six more friends/acquaintances that have lost their jobs since 1/1/2010.

The recession is over? The economy is rebounding? Give me a freakin’ break !!

So today I spent the entire day—-as I do almost everyday—-looking for work in this “recovering” economy. And it was another day of “fake jobs”, lowballing, and general deceit by those companies still in existence that have turned to any means they can to stay afloat.

I’ve actually been to a half-dozen interviews in the last 90 days. Sounds pretty encouraging, huh? Like there are opportunities to be had ?

On three of them, I ”got” the job. They said they loved me. I was perfect for what they need. Great interview and outstanding resume/experience. Boy, they would take me on in a second……if only they really, actually had a job to give.

These places actually reached out to a personnel agency that I hooked up with and asked them to send them viable candidates. They had the agency waste time and money by weeding through their files and finding the best candidates to send over. They wasted my time by pulling me away from my own job searching and spending the gas money to go out and see them. Plus the costs of haircuts and dry cleaning my suits, etc. And finally, they wasted their own firm’s time and money by actually recieving these candidates in and interviewing them.

Just to call the agency back and say they absolutely loved me but unfortunately, they don’t have a job to offer me. They “thought the economy would have rebounded by now.”

They thought they “had a chance at landing a huge new client/account, but the firm pulled back due to the still poor economy”.

So they apologize profusely for stringing everyone involved along and going so far as to have an agency do all sorts of search work……for a phantom job.

This has happened to me three times since November 1, 2009.

Then there is the job that also loved me and felt I fit all of their requirements. And this time there really was a job. They wanted a college graduate with purchasing experience. They wanted someone very computer literate with SAP (business management software) experience. They wanted a seasoned person familiar with procurement, inventory, vendor relations, and more. And they found him in me.

And then they said that the position started at $8.00 per hour. No shit. That’s not a typo. Eight dollars per hour……aka White Castle wages. That is what a leading retailer in this country wants to pay someone with those credentials. And why? Because they know the economy is nowhere close to improving. They know the recession is FAR from over. They know that eventually someone that qualified will be hungry enough (by that I mean literally starving in their stomach area) and desperate enough to take their $8

Which is just about how every company in the US is operating right now. Ninety percent of the jobs posted on the internet do not tell you what the salary will be. Not even a loose range they can toy with the candidates on. They know that they simply don’t have to list a salary because they will have 1000 applicants for the position and can low-ball somebody into taking minimum wage. It’s sickening, really.

And then there’s the sales jobs where the company figures to get a free month of work and market penetration out of a person before they quit because they haven’t made a single sale or made a dime for their dinner tables. Nobody is buying a damn thing in this “recovering” economy. Sales jobs are available by the hundreds because you don’t make anything. That’s OK with the firm doing the hiring, though. They still get their territories covered….knowing nobody is buying anything……and they get a free month’s work out of some poor sap. And when he moves on, they simply turn to the next sucker who applies. They might not have to pay a commission all year—-but they still get the market saturation they aimed for !! They’d love some sales. But at least they accomplished one of the company goals.

Post a resume on careerbuilder or monster and you’ll get six emails from Aflac, two from Prudential, and maybe one from Liberty Mutual by morning. Plus all of the payment processing companies (use our credit card payment processing system !! ) out there. They’ll take on anyone who responds.

At least those places actually do respond to applicants. Nobody else does. Just the sales industry. Not the big, elite companies who pride themselves on communication and integrity. Probably because the job they posted is another one of those “phantom” positions. And they know it.

So please White House officials and million-dollar newscasters……quit acting like you empathize with us. Or know what we’re going thru. Or think you are even close to being “one of us”. You’re not. It isn’t even close. The truth is, you don’t have a clue what is going on in this nation.

After all…….you’re all working.

Tribes Starting to Fracture on Survivor

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

This past Thursday’s episode of Survivor was pretty good. They had a good reward/immunity challenge on the surface, but in the end, it wasn’t much of a challenge. And the tribes are really starting to identify the people they don’t exactly like within their own ranks.

The show started with JT offering up an apology to Fireman Tom for the way he voted out Stephanie (in the previous week’s show). JT had made an alliance with Tom and knew that it included Stephanie and Colby. But JT explained that when he saw the numbers stacking up against that small faction, he was afraid to show allignment with them and essentially put a target on his own back. Fireman Tom somewhat accepted his apology, but Tom is also a smart player who won’t put too much trust into JT again.

Gravedigger James also apologized for his recent outbursts to a small degree. He reiterated that he just wants to win and that he became frustrated, etc. Fireman Tom pulled him aside and in a fatherly way told him that he “just could have been a little more gentle” at the Tribal Council. With his nemesis Stephanie gone, James did seem to tone down his verbage around camp……although his will to win was pretty evident at the physical challenge.

When they jumped over to show how life was going at the villain camp, Boston Rob made one of the best observations I’ve ever heard about the game of Survivor. He told viewers that he was going to let them in on a little secret and that this is the absolute one sure way to know who was alligned and who was at odds. He said that at night, whoever is cuddling or spooning together to stay warm and be somewhat comfortable…..they are in a close allignment. It’s that simple. You aren’t going to spoon with someone that you hate or don’t like to be around. And in most cases, if there is a guy running his hand thru a woman’s hair or someone is getting a nice little massage…….more than likely they have befriended each other and are working on the same page.

Great observation that would seem to be pretty obvious. Sure, we have seen people get close and physical (Rob himself with Amber, Ozzy and Amanda). But I hadn’t heard anyone ever really point out the exactness of how to view the bedtime buddies. Makes a lot of sense.

Pot bellied Russell took offense to Coach and Boston Rob sort of building on that observation of Rob’s that alliances are obvious when there is too much cuddling going on. Which was kind of funny seeing as how Coach and Jerri seem to be getting close to bumping nasties. But they got on Russell’s case a little bit because of his playing around all the time with Parvati. Of course with his huge ego, Russell took offense to their warnings and decided he needed to stir things up a bit to show who was really in charge.

So he hid the camp’s machete later that night while they were all asleep. His aim is to screw with his tribemates’ heads and make them suffer a little bit opening up coconuts and trimming firewood, etc.

The reward/immunity challenge was one competition again. They were playing for the one luxury item that all contestants are allowed to bring along to the game. And even more importantly, immunity from that night’s Tribal Council. The challenge was a sumo-type of wrestling match with one-on-one matchups. Each person had a padded “shield” that they could use for ramming their opponent with and knocking them off the platform and into the mud. However, you had to keep both hands on the handles of the shield at all times.

The hero tribe really had their game faces on. They were bound and determined to win. Which they did……8 to ZERO. The villains did not win one matchup. There were two matches a little more humorous than the others. Coach faced off against the wookie Rupert. And Coach seemed to have a victory, but Pretty Boy Probst (PBP) negated the win by saying that Coach had taken one of his hands off of the shield. So they re-started the match. But not before Coach again took a hand off of the shield to flip off Probst for the penalty. PBP told Coach to “direct that anger to your opponent…..not me ! “

The wookie then went on to defeat Coach after the match was restarted.

And in the final matchup, Gravedigger James found himself up against the oldest player in the whole game—-Randy. First, James baited Randy a little bit encouraging him to bring it and that sort of thing. Then after quickly disposing of Randy and having him down in the mud, James threw his shield at Randy and walked away. The villain tribe admonished James for his “unheroic” and unclassy kind of behavior.

I found it all kind of funny.

So the villains had to vote someone off at Tribal Council and the discussion centered around old man Randy and the siren Parvati. Randy tried to convince them how dangerous Parvati is by having multiple friends over on the hero tribe. He said she must be ousted before the merge, and here was their chance. However, like me, the other guys on the tribe must like seeing her around because they voted Randy out at Tribal.

Which while I thought was the wrong move to make and kind of dumb by the villains……..I was happy that an old fart got voted out instead of another one of my girls. Or my precious “eye candy” as I’ve been told.

The last funny part of the show was Randy taking his bandana off and whipping it into the firepit when he was voted out. A sign of his disgust with the tribe and his own disappointment. But he whipped it like Ted Lilly of the Chicago Cubs threw his hat down after letting up a homerun in the playoffs. With authority.

Gave me one last chuckle for the night after yet another good and entertaining show.

Asshole of the Month February 2010

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……..

Being a short month as it is, and with me usually taking weekends off, there was only a tad over three weeks for this month’s Asshole of the Month to present theirself.

And I found myself a little short on candidates to be honest. In the end, it came down to three contenders.

The first is the entire body of corn-infested stools that make up the US Senate. And we could probably throw the House in there too. This collective group of do-nothing windbags can’t seem to agree that the sky is blue or that grass is green. The country is swirling around the bowl of the toilet on its way down the hole and these shit-for-brains have to argue every little point to death. One thing they did do this month was haul in one of the other candidates for one of their laughable little grill sessions that never results in anything. Just like they did with Major League Baseball and they do with crooked bankers, executives and all the rest.

These shit bags in suits brought in a few of the chief officials from Toyota to explain the hijinks going on over there. The boys from Toyota were the other runners-up this month for our prestigious award. This high-and-mighty company that has made oodles of cash over the years has apparently been doing it by putting us into virtual death machines. While it’s nice to see an industry giant get their come-uppance, it’s not so great to have it happen at the expense of people’s lives. Especially a lot of American lives since we buy so many of their electric chairs on wheels. But the only reason these Japanese jaggoffs didn’t win the award this month is for what it took a great man like Jimmy Kimmel to point out.

The comedian observed that it was the first time an automaker actually went before Congress and didn’t ask for 10 billion dollars.

So based on that, they were off the hook. Instead, I awarded this month’s prestigious honor to a really deserving jackass. The king turd of the titanium, if you will…..

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the February 2010 Asshole of the Month………Tiger Woods !!

At first I defended this douche bag of the dog-leg  Par 4. I thought that he was being overscrutinized for a guy that hadn’t done anything but cheat on his wife and family. I felt it was their issue to deal with. I felt that the media didn’t need to be all over him the way they were.

But then I saw how this pompous prick evaded authorities looking to get a statement out of him. For days and days. And the laughingstock that is law enforcement in the US let him get away with it. The usual special treatment that a person of privilege gets in this country. Even a self-centered, smug, tool of a pro golfer. But he still wouldn’t go away.

Now ever since that night that his pretty little wife slapped his sorry ass around and he wrapped his SUV around the tree, we’ve been subjected to week after week of more raw sewage from this shit receptacle. First there was the parade of sluts that he slipped it to coming forward for their ten minutes of fame. Then there was the various sightings of his wife out without her wedding ring on or buying a house back in her homeland. She must have starting seeing her man for the scrotum cheese that he is.

Then we had to deal with the rumors that he checked in to a sex addiction clinic. And finally, the coup de gras…….his bullshit, fake-ass press conference of remorse where he once again tried to play the rest of us off as imbeciles. 

First, this nut sac made the thing “invite-only” and was adamant about who could come and hear his half-assed apology in person. Then he made it clear that there would be no questions afterward so that he couldn’t be called out on his horseshit actions and insincere speech. And then toward the end of his self-serving propaganda, he finally raised his voice and showed his only trace of emotion when admonishing the media for allegedly hounding his wife and kids. And for making up stories of how his petite wife kicked his weak ass.

Up to that point in his pre-prepared speech written by one of his spin doctors, he didn’t show the tiniest trace of legitimate regret or remorse for destroying his family. He read the words in a robotic way that sounded like a kid giving an oral report in biology class. Nobody I have spoken with bought his unfeeling stream of verbal piss in the very least. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the kids he let down. Or the game of golf that he brought a black cloud over. Or the sponsors that subsidized his perverted lifestyle for all these years.

This prick of the putting green has thought he is superior to the rest of us for years. He phrased it that he believed he deserved to enjoy the spoils of working so hard all of these years. That he was entitled. It is obvious from this pathetic pecker that he isn’t sorry about a damn thing except that he got caught. If he hadn’t, he’d still be sticking his 9 iron into every skanky whore’s sandtrap that he could.

Tiger isn’t sure when he will return to golf. I’m actually starting to wish that it will be sooner than later. I heard less about this gonad of the greens when he was actually on the course as compared to now. Of course when he does return, we’ll be subjected to the biggest media frenzy yet in this sad story. But after that, hopefully it dies back down to the level before his woman whupped his ass. I think I speak for most people when I say we’re sick of hearing about this unfaithful, annoying bastard.

Go knock some balls into the proper holes already, you sick freak. Or just retire altogether and go away completely.

You’re just a good golfer. Nothing else. You’re a terrible husband, a rotten father, and the truth is buddy……….you ain’t better than any of us.

Just some observations in this crazy world

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………..

Thought it was time to take a quick look at the world around me lately and tell you what I see.

First off, the hard chargin’ band  West 34  is ready to jam out again this Saturday night at Rolling Lanes (bar) bowling alley in Countryside. If you missed them at this same venue last month, they rocked out big-time. My boy “Big Wave” Dave Johnson, the lead guitar virtuoso, was walking from tabletop to tabletop at one point like Eddie Van Halen in the Hot for Teacher video. Their version of Summertime Blues comes complete with the Pete Townsend windmill effect. And the drummer’s version of Moby Dick brings visions of John Bonham to mind.

Here’s the specifics:

WEST 34
Saturday, February 27, 2010    9PM
Rolling Lanes Bowling Alley (bar)
6301 Joliet Road   Countryside, Illinois

If you want a rollicking Saturday night out with your woman and hear some great rock and blues, this is your ticket.

Speaking of some of the boys kicking ass, I have to mention my old alma mater’s basketball team. And I’m not talking about Southern Illinois here. I’m talking about the Lyons Township High School (LaGrange, IL) boys basketball team. These guys are now 23-1 and ranked among the top 10 teams in the state in most polls. They started out 23-0 and just suffered their first loss this past Friday night to a talented team out of Oak Park-River Forest (18-5). The LT basketball team has had some occasional solid seasons and usually puts out a competitive team. But this year is the most successful so far in about 40 years. Keep it up guys…..and I’ll be watching you in the state tournament in a few weeks.

And then we have the US men’s hockey team in the Olympics. I’m not much of an Olympics guy. But hockey is one of my favorite sports and one of the few I will watch during the Games. And on Sunday evening, the US knocked off Canada for the first time in about 40 years. We did beat them in a World Championships tourney back in ‘96 or so, but this was our first Olympics triumph over the Canadiens in about four decades. When the Miracle on Ice team won the gold medal in 1980, we didn’t have to face the Canadian team. So we are now in the quarterfinals on Wednesday and will face Switzerland. If we don’t beat them, I’ll be sorely disappointed.

So between the Chicago Blackhawks, my high school basketball team, and the US men’s hockey team……we have some good teams to root for until the baseball season starts. Which is in the first week of April–just about  five short weeks away !!

In my recent post { see Feb 16:  I’ll Give Ya a Hero } where I identified some of my heroes to match the overhype of people like Lindsey Vonn, Bode Miller, and NBA players, I neglected to name a few due to space limitations. Besides the heroes I did mention like Lucky Luciano and Attila the Hun, I didn’t have room to give proper kudos to great men like Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp, Robert E. Lee, Carlo Gambino and Tony Accardo. I don’t know what it is…..I like ass kickers. I like guys who play by their own rules for the most part–since most of the rules we are forced to live by are mythological, utopian ideas. Notions that the average man is expected to follow and is penalized heavily (or incarcerated) if he doesn’t. But the people in authority who make up these rules never seem to abide by them theirselves. So I guess I tend to respect and like the people that say, ” This is a steaming pile of bullshit and I’m not going to play your little game. “  

Just wanted to give a shout out to those deserving men of accomplishment.

There’s been some really good posts on my buddy’s website ShareMyShot.com recently. He had one named after Jimmy Conway from Goodfellas and just yesterday he paid tribute to the men’s figure skating team in the Olympics. Check it out when you have a chance. Funny stuff.

How about that little speech that Tiger Woods made last week? I have a feeling I’ll be writing about him in a little more detail in the next few days as we near the end of this month. He tried to say all the right things in his meticulously prepared statement written by someone else. Nice try, Tiger.

That’s what I don’t get about these fallen celebrities. They come out with a statement written by their publicist or a spin control firm and read it right off the page and want us to believe they are sincere and truly sorry for their behavior. If you can’t take the time to memorize the statement……or blow us all away and actually write one yourself obviously penned from the heart…….then don’t even bother. What does it take to write 1000-1500 words of sincere apology?

I write between 1000-1200 words on this blog every day in about 45 to 60 minutes. And I have to think of a topic every single day. These celebs know what their topic is; their own asinine behavior. So all they have to do is sit down for a few hours and write about being truly regretful and sincerely apologize to those people they have hurt. Maybe have someone proofread it and change a handful of words to make it sound polished. That’s it.

But when they read a pre-prepared statement verbatim and then raise their voice and admonish the media for trying to gather all of the actual details in the situation (like Tiger did), they often just dig themselves a bigger hole. If you want the media to back down and go find a new witch hunt, then come forward sooner and fill us in on why you acted like a jackass. The only reaction I have heard from friends about his little speech is some smirking and mostly dismissals of Tiger’s half-assed “apology”.

Finally, as I looked out the window yesterday, I saw yet more snow falling in my yard. And then this morning my driveway had another thin layer on it. I have to feel that I am that much closer to fulfilling another one of my Dirty Dozen prophecies with certainty. We received another 3-5 inches in my area from Sunday night into Monday. And now it has been falling again the past few days. And I’d be very surprised if this is the last snowfall we see. So the total accumulation records continue to add up for certain regions and my prophecy of it being a bastard of a winter are just about confirmed.

Hope you make it out to see the band on Saturday night. And check out my buddy’s blog:

www.sharemyshot.com

2nd Episode of Survivor Gets Catty

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

This past Thursday’s episode of Survivor really seemed to see the two tribes turn it up a notch as far as bickering and already targeting each other. And it was the heroes doing it more so than the villains.

The first key event was when Boston Rob went down due to what appeared to be exhaustion/dehydration. He was walking in the woods with Jerri and the next thing you know, he went down like a ton of bricks. He told Jerri to “get help” and the medical team and Pretty Boy Probst were on the scene quickly. The medical team hydrated him and checked his vitals and determined that he didn’t have to be removed from the game (unless he wanted to be). Of course, he elected to stay in the game.

He did shed a few tears and said something about feeling bad because he ” respects and loves the game so much and thus far it was getting the best ” of him. But then he did indicate to Probst that from there on, it would be no more “Mr. Nice Guy” and he was going to play the game the way he knew how—-more aggressively and deviously.

Well ol’ Rob must have gotten some decent rest and some water into him because in the challenge….which was both a reward and immunity challenge…..Rob carried the day for the villains. The prize was a tarp to keep the rain out of your shelter. The challenge was about using huge, heavy building blocks to not only make a staircase, but to also spell out either the word “heroes” or “villains”. Rob had apparently participated in this type of challenge before and his tribe designated him the foreman for their efforts.

The heroes elected to go with JT as their foreman for similar reasons.

However, in the challenge itself, the heroes were disorganized and uncooperative and weren’t listening to JT’s instructions. They were talking over each other and making little progress. On the other side, Rob was showing good leadership skills and the team listened to him. Then when they were on the final building blocks that literally had to be hoisted up above the others, Rob jumped up and used his back and leg muscles to push the damn things into place. Nobody else showed that sort of strength and determination. As a result of his direct efforts, the villains won the challenge and the tarp.

And the heroes had to go to Tribal Council and eliminate someone for the second time in a row.

After the challenge back at the heroes camp is where things started getting catty….and kind of funny. This is why I watch the show. For the petty squabbling and the insults people make in their little asides with the camera. Cutie pie Stephanie started harping about how nobody listened to JT and they worked very poorly as a team. Gravedigger James took exception and started barking back at her. He pointed out to everyone else in the tribe how she is the only one who was ever on a tribe that lost every challenge (some seasons ago when her tribe lost every challenge and she was the only one left—sleeping alone on the beach for a few days). And now she was on a tribe that had lost two in a row yet again. He said there’s no other conclusion to draw except that she is a poisonous, weak link. 

He also barked at the whole tribe that ” he’s been a winner his whole life and he’s not used to losing like this ! “  

That’s when my boy Fireman Tom, with his thick NYC accent, told the camera in one of his asides that, “I think James really overreacted to the challenge loss today and his temper tantrum back at camp was uncalled for. He claims that he’s been a winner his whole life and he’s not used to losing. I seriously doubt that. I can show him what a true winner really is.”

Cracked me up good.

Stephanie’s comments also irritated Rupert to a degree. So she wasn’t making a lot of friends being as vocal as she was. She did kind of have an attitude that hadn’t been so apparent in her prior seasons. And she has been on the losing side of a ton of challenges. But she is still pretty hot though. She’s in pretty good shape. I’ll give her that.

Things really started brewing over at the actual Tribal Council. { It seems like the construction crew really enhanced the whole Tribal Council “fort” since the last season was played in Samoa. I remember Probst saying that they were 30 feet in the air on the first episode. The whole thing looks like the damn Ewok Village from Return of the Jedi for chrissakes. Which I guess is somewhat fitting since Rupert resembles Chewbaca a little bit }.

Anyway, Probst asked one of his pointed questions at James (obviously after reviewing videotape before the session the way he always does so as to stir the pot more effectively). James used some poor word choices and eventually singled out Stephanie as being a rabble rouser and somewhat of a weak link. Colby took exception to that and made a retort back at James. James responded in kind. So then my guy Tom piped up and said ” make it three ” people who don’t appreciate James’ comments and finger pointing. James claimed that despite calling Stephanie out by name, he hadn’t ” singled anybody out “.

Tom replied that he doesn’t know what world James is from but identifying someone by name is singling them out in his own world.

As my buddy said upon calling me immediately after the show, ” It looks like Gravedigger James is digging his own grave ! ”

I agree. Usually he’s much more likeable and low-key than what we have been seeing.

But in the end, Stephanie had indeed irritated enough people to seal her fate and she was the one voted out. On her way out, she mocked James throwing his use of the phrase ” y’all ” back at him and he told her to get lost. And again, Tom objected to his attitude.

So that makes two cute girls in a row already off the show. Sugar (last week’s ouster) isn’t near as hot as Stephanie, but she did go topless in the very first challenge. So she has to get some points for that display. And now a legitimately fine woman in Stephanie is gone. All I can say is that Parvati better not be next. Get some of the fat guys out of there like Rupert or Russell or Randy (on the villain side). Keep the cuties dammit !

Next week’s teaser coming attraction provided my last laugh of the night when they showed James being pretty aggressive in a challenge and Probst’s voiceover says, “Next week on Survivor…….a hero loses his cool.”

Then they show Tom talking to James and saying, “You could have been a bit more gentle out there.”

Looks pretty hilarious.

As long as Parvati doesn’t get voted out.

A few of the old man’s favorite things

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

I’ve been back from Nevada for a week now and it’s been almost two weeks since I lost my dad.

I have to say that I’ve been totally floored by the number of friends that have reached out, called, sent notes and messages. A few years ago, I was basically underground recovering from an illness of my own. I only spoke to my brother and a few other people. In order to stay out of trouble and stay healthy, I avoided almost all social gatherings and just focused on my job and my home. I avoided the people who were my friends for upwards of three years or more. Just to stay on track. But I came back around about 18 months ago and it was truly one of the best decisions I ever made. The outpouring of support from the people now back in my life has been a reaffirmation of what the Blues Brothers said——everybody needs somebody.

And within the messages and conversations that I’ve had with these friends, a lot of my dad’s passions and favorite things have been remembered. One girl that I still don’t see too often (or often enough? ) said she’ll always remember my dad’s “cool cars”. And he did have a bunch of them over the years. When I was out in NV with my mom, she recalled when she first met Dad. He had come over to visit his buddy who lived right next door to my mom’s family on Marshfield in Chicago. Turns out the buddy wasn’t home and my mom was sitting on her front steps letting her hair dry after having washed it. Dad apparently noticed her and waltzed on up and started a conversation while he waited for his buddy.

And when I asked what attracted her to him, one of the things mom said was that, “and he had a pretty cool car ! “.

Funny.

My dad always, always loved the 1950s and everything that came out of it. The cars, the music, the icons, everything.

He turned me on to Elvis, Buddy Holly, the Everly Brothers, Dion, and so many more of the big acts from back then. When I was out there, my family played a lot of his CDs and old record albums while we shared funny stories and memories of him. It was cool to hear Dion’s Runaround Sue and The Wanderer on vinyl. Or Wake Up Little Susie and Cathy’s Clown by those Everly Brothers. He still had a bunch of 78s and a phonograph player to play ‘em on.

He also had a love for Sherlock Holmes books and movies. He was always an avid reader and we shared a lot of books over the years. One of his all-time favorites was Studs Lonigan by James T. Farrell. Studs Lonigan was the subject of a trilogy of novels of Irish life on the South Side of Chicago. We’re Irish and my folks both grew up on the South Side. So you could see how the stories would appeal to Dad.

The Sherlock Holmes books were his favorites later in life, though. He loved how the detective would use the most minute details to solve the crimes. The master of observation. Dad would buy books with a collection of cases and devour them. He had to have five or six collections with over 250 cases in them.

He was a life-long WhiteSox fan who never forgot the thrills of the 1959 “Go-Go Sox” pennant team. He loved to reminisce about “Jungle” Jim Rivera, Luis Aparicio, Billy Pierce, and his favorite player of all time……Hall of Famer Nellie Fox. He and I went to a good 25-30 Sox games together over the years; both at old Comiskey Park and US Cellular. When he lived in Chicago, we made it a point to take the recreation department’s annual trip to the game together every year. 

But it was the cars that he loved the most. He was the first one in his family to own a car—-a fact I only learned from my aunt a few weeks ago. One of his favorite stories to tell was when he rolled over one of his cars three times and escaped uninjured. He had pictures of old cars like a ‘57 Chevy or a ‘55 Thunderbird on the walls of the game room where we played pool. He loved to go to the Chicago Auto Show every single year and really missed it when he retired out-of-state.

He used to go to an old-fashioned “burger-and fries” joint on Harlem Avenue called Duke’s. It was a gathering spot for muscle car lovers and owners of classic cars from the 50s and 60s. Dad didn’t go out to bars or hang out with a group of pals too much when I was growing up. But anytime he was heading out on a Friday or Saturday night and you asked him where he was going, inevitably he’d say, “I’m gonna go on up to Duke’s. Wanna come with? ”

One pal he did visit with alot was a guy he knew since grade school nicknamed Ace. When he first brought me and my brother over to meet Ace, he was building a kit-car roadster in his garage. They remained friends until Dad’s death connected by their love of cool cars.

Everyone from the neighborhood I grew up in remembers my father’s baby-blue ‘75 convertible. He would drive it up to our Little League games and when we won, all of our teammates wanted to ride in his car up to the Tasty Freeze for the celebratory ice cream that was traditional back then. He could be found every single Saturday afternoon washing and waxing that sweet ride. I don’t know how many times I helped him put the freshly cleaned, bone-white “boot” back on that car.

He positively loved it.

{One time I recall that my mom, my sister, and my brother and I went up to the Tasty Freeze for shakes one summer night in the convertible and a shake got spilled on the floor of the car. After a massive clean-up operation, we were all sworn to secrecy……a secret that was never revealed to him the rest of his life ! }

And that was just one of the number of cars he had when I was growing up. He’d exchange the one he had for another he liked about every four years or so. And they were all fast and sporty. Lots of horsepower. He was always quoting how much horsepower the damn cars had.

So those were some of dad’s favorite things that have been the root of several stories being bandied about the last few weeks. We’ve been remembering the joy he got out of all of these things and more…….a good, gory horror flick, a funny-ass dirty joke, all of the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies, the Abbot & Costello routine Who’s On First, Laurel and Hardy, George Carlin, Ledo’s pizza, the old Riverview amusement park, and of course his beloved Chicago Bears (especially Walter Payton and Dick Butkus).

Thanks to my friends and family members for sharing their anecdotes and helping to celebrate the happy, good times we all had with Dad.

There sure were a million of ‘em.