A Couple of Departures; One Good, One Bad

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………..

Yesterday was a day where I learned of a couple of farewells happening in the world. Actually, I did know that one was imminent. But the other one caught me a bit off guard. You could also say that one departure was a good one. The other one I am a little disappointed to hear about.

First, the good one. A little after nine o’clock last night, the great state of Virginia executed sniper John Allen Muhammed. Good riddance you piece of shit. This guy wreaked havoc for three weeks back in 2002 killing ten people with his young accomplice. He even shot at schoolchildren and left notes and other clues in an effort to toy with the investigators. But like so many monsters with a declared agenda that finally face the music, he had nothing to say on his way out. No bragging or pontificating. No apologies or remorse. He just limped into hell with a couple of deep breaths and an emotionless look on his mug.

His accomplice suggested that he wanted to extort money from the US government and open up a terrorist training camp for homeless children. His ex-wife thinks it was all part of a strategy to kill her and take custody of their three children. Whatever his true motive was, he took it with him to Hades.

This guy would normally be a good candidate for the November Asshole of the Month award. But I can tell you now that he won’t win. What he did for society this month—–exit our world taking with him all of the evil he had stored up inside—-this was the best thing he has done since he was a no-name, regular guy. His heinous deeds happened 7 years ago. In October 2002, he was a unanimous choice for Asshole of the Month. But not now. His execution is a good thing.

This month is only eleven days old, but not surprisingly there are at least two candidates with much higher, more timely credentials than John Allen Muhammed for Asshole of the Month. Kind of scary to think about, really. By Thanksgiving, there will probably be a whole slew of slugs leaving a trail of sludge behind them for me to choose from.

Kudos to Virginia for carrying out the sentence. It took seven years from the crimes being committed, to the trial, to the end of his appeals and the actual execution. But I’ll take it. It seems like we hear about 100 people per year getting the death penalty in the news. But it seems like only 5 or 6 get carried out every year. I’m sure it’s more, but it just seems like one of those sentences that sounds as serious as it gets. And then all we hear about are the criminals sitting on Death Row awaiting their day. On our tax dollars. They even get face time on TV shows like Lockup.

Just kill them already.

All-in-all though, this was a happy departure from planet Earth. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Then there was a departure that I guess has been in the news since last Friday. I didn’t hear about it until yesterday. Apparently Steven Tyler has left Aerosmith.

Even though these guys are in their late 50’s and haven’t put out an album of new material in about six years or more, I’m disappointed to hear it. I’ve always really liked Steven Tyler. Back in college, I had a couple of posters of him up on the wall. In one, it was a black-and-white shot of him thrusting his chest out and a real smartassy look on his face. He has a cigarette dangling out of his big lips and his t-shirt says, “Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?”  {Then I think bandmate Joe Perry had a shirt that asked, “Who the fuck is Steven Tyler?” }.

In the other poster we had, it was a live shot of Tyler and guitarist Perry performing live and leaning real close together by the microphone. They are both decked out in their Toxic Twins t-shirts. Classic.

I first saw Aerosmith live in 1987 with a high school buddy and our girlfriends. Guns N Roses opened up and walked off the stage after about 45 minutes or so because Axl Rose was pissed off about something. Then Aerosmith came on and rocked out. They did “Big Ten Inch Record” which was sweet to hear live. His backflips and running around the stage jumping off the whole stack of amps left a vivid memory. I’ve seen them three or four times since. 

Guess that’s over with.

The band says they’re going to replace him with another singer. To me, this is one of those bands where you just can’t do it. When you’ve had one guy over a 25 year touring career that has you in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, sometimes the singer is irreplaceable. The Stones are not the Stones without Jagger. The Who is not The Who without Roger Daltry. Even U2 is not U2 without Bono.

And if the remaining members of Aerosmith—all in their mid to late 50’s—think they are going to find a suitable replacement to tour the world singing “Dream On”, they’re nuts. At this stage of their career, fans want to hear just the hits at every show and they want it from the original lineup.

But don’t forget the savvy business sense that has made Aerosmith one of the wealthiest of all historic rock bands. They have set themselves up nicely for 2013 or 2014. You know, when they’re in their 60’s and need another huge paycheck.

Then we’ll hear about the inevitable comeback tour after Tyler and Perry reunite and are ready to play nice again.

It’s the way of the music business.