Asshole of the Month November 2009

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……..

There were a couple of solid contenders for this month’s award. I can’t tell you how bad I would like to honor Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith here today. But that’s more of a personal thing. Really, it’s a “Chicago” thing. And despite what he’s doing to my favorite football franchise, his actions aren’t near heinous enough to beat out some of the other contenders. Is he an asshole? Not really. Just a real dip shit.

Then there was the strong runner-up to this month’s actual winner. Remember Anthony Sowell? Or have you forgotton this anal admiral’s name already? This was the sack of crap that remodeled his home using human corpses that he killed. Last I heard they found eleven bodies. A real dingleberry. He was the front runner for the first week of November. The saddest part of all is that this asshole’s body count wasn’t near enough to take top honors by the end of the month.

Really that’s unbelievable. What a statement of our world today.

No, this month’s Asshole of the Month award goes to that boil on the ass of society that went on a shooting rampage at Ft. Hood. The jaggoff’s name is Nidal Malik Hasan. According to a recent story update in the New York Times, the shootings at the base’s large medical and processing center left 12 soldiers and one civilian dead, 43 other people injured, while Hasan was struck by four bullets fired by military police. That’s where the Hero of the Month, Kimberly Munley played a large role.

But this anal drip with the name that should have been a big tip-off just pisses me off to no end. I’m so tired about hearing about racial profiling and how inappropriate it is. Bullshit. It doesn’t just happen to black people and Asians and people from the Middle East. I’ve been accosted by police on at least three occasions in my life that I clearly remember because “I sure the hell don’t look like someone who should be here.”

I’ve been told that by policemen three times in my life where I was doing absolutely nothing. I was a white guy in a black neighborhood. So they pulled me over and hassled me (including a full body frisk) because I just had to be buying drugs out there. I was also pulled over in the parking lot of the bowling alley in my own hometown because there’d been some car thefts there lately and we looked like “we were up to no good” according to Mr Law.

We were looking for a parking place to go in and play video games and eat french fries. You know…spend good hard-earned money at the establishment?

So racial profiling happens to everyone. Everyone. And how a shit stain like Nadal Malik Hasan not only gets into the US Army—-but attains the rank of Major——scrapes my nerves. I don’t give a shit who likes it and who doesn’t…….all people with names and identifications like that need a full, intensive background check before they are allowed to do anything of importance in the US. Things like working for NASA, or the NSA, or joining our army, or even flying a plane for United Airlines.

Sorry to those people who are offended by that. I didn’t create the mistrust between the American citizenry and people from the Middle East. But the terrorists have accomplished their goal of instilling fear. I’m afraid of people with Middle Eastern names. They won that battle. I have some trust issues there. I admit it. I’m weak-minded, I guess. So how the hell does a shitter critter like Hasan climb so far up in our army? I don’t care that his rank was more of a medical designation. It’s totally unacceptable.

I know a lot of people….tons…..that are nervous to even have a man in charge with a name like Barack Obama. It’s just too damn close to the name of the world’s number one terrorist for most people’s liking. Hey, you can’t help what people think. And that’s what many, many people think. Sorry. Welcome to the world of the realist.

But back to that shit sniffer Hasan. This anal tunneler’s complete motives are still being made clear. The first reports are that he is against the theatres of conflict in the Middle East and was not happy at all to being shipped out there. So he goes and tries to murder 50 people. These pricks make me sick. It’s like the depressed, suicidal person who wants out—-and then they go about it in a way that takes out 5 or 6 other people. Like pulling their car on to the railroad tracks in front of a speeding train. It’s bad enough that the train will smack it and possibly de-rail. But the impact is likely to cause a few injuries (or even deaths) on the train. And worse yet are the people who pull on to the tracks with someone else in their car. An innocent, unwilling participant.

Don’t get me wrong….when a person is depressed enough or not mentally healthy and considering suicide, I have tremendous sympathy for them. I’ve known several people that have taken their own lives. Every one of them hurts me today to think they didn’t feel they could reach out to me. But when you purposely hurt others to resolve your own issues, you become a non-sympathetic figure.

So back to this shit bag Hasan. If you don’t want to be shipped overseas, go AWOL. Simply disobey your orders and face a court-martial. Kill yourself and leave the rest of us alone. Whatever.

Now of course there is some deeper probing into this asshole’s background and beliefs. If he does have strong, direct ties to any faction that openly hates the US, then I have to blame the army as much as Hasan. Jesus Christ, I had to jump thru hoops and literally bring in every member of my household to the animal clinic when I adopted a cat. They wanted to meet every person in the house who would have regular contact with the kitty. I had to fill out a 5 page questionnaire. They asked what home safety improvements I would be making before they gave me the animal.

But it seems like we’ll let just about anybody in Uncle Sam’s army these days. Here’s a rule suggestion. If you have three parts to your name, you get a mandatory intensive background check. I don’t care if your name is Billy Ray Cyrus or Nidal Malik Hasan. You get checked.

So there’s one rule to try and prevent walking sphincters like Hasan from attaining positions of clearance in this country. How do we know some mechanic at NASA isn’t tightening the bolts as much as they should be on our space shuttles? Or that the guy doing security at White House dinners isn’t letting unauthorized party crashers in?

Here’s a possible hint……..if his name is Abdul Hassan Osama Malik Muhammed Laden, then there’s a good chance we should look a bit closer at him. It’s not rocket science.