Government agencies that actually deserve a hand (no kidding)

Dude, I’m tellin ya……….

I don’t mean these government places need help or assistance——-I’m talking about a pat on the back. A congratulations for doing a good job and a thanks. No……I’m not currently sleep deprived or two sheets to the wind over here. I have been relying on one government agency to personally stay afloat for the past 8 months. Without them, I would sleeping in the bed of my truck. And the other agency has provided me with flawless service for a good 8-9 years now. And when I say flawless……I mean mistake-free. Never a problem with them one time.

And as I do realize that I am one of the first people to point out what I think is a scam, or a double standard, or a poor job by one person or another…….I thought I should acknowledge these two government offices and give them their kudos. So……(have you guessed what agencies they are yet? )………

Here’s to the Illinois Dept. of Employment Security (IDES)—–AKA the “unemployment office”——–and to the Illinois Tollbooth Association (if that is actually what it is called) ! Thanks guys !

No BS. No practical joke here. No joshing, kidding, playing around, no jesting, no wisecracking or wise-assing, no nothing. I just have no complaints to register about these two government (read: typically crooked and mismanaged) systems. And this is from a guy who can find a complaint to offer after Publishers Clearing House comes to my door with a huge check. I’d be like, “Jesus Christ….do you jackasses realize it’s 9:45 in the morning?”

But unfortunately, I had to call for another unemployment period this morning to secure some assistance. I’ve applied to over 80 jobs in the last 60 days, but there’s no fish on the line yet. So if I’m to meet my next rent and eat a meal or two, I have to certify for another period. The automated phone system went as smooth as it always does. And in 48 hours, I’m about 99% confident that the benefits will land—via the direct deposit—–in my bank account. I have not had a problem yet in the 8 months that I have been off work. And registering on-line was as painless as it comes when registering for anything related to the government. I had a much harder time completing a job application for the US NAVY posted on careerbuilder.com for procurement positions (my area). They wanted my mother’s maiden name and my dad’s favorite lunchmeat. My Aunt Sally’s bra size. It was ridiculous.

But I registered on-line with IDES back in early January and it went thru with no hold-ups or absurd questions. No requests for outlandish documentation. I qualified (as I expected I should…there was no funny business about my company going under) and soon received the promised notifications in the mail. Now I have called in a good 16-17 times for benefits and have not had a single hiccup. I have to applaud the IDES office for doing a reliable, solid job. Without you, I would be in desperate straits. My only hope is that despite the good job you do, I have my fingers crossed that I will not need your services very much longer. But thanks, IDES. Back pat to you.

And then there’s the Illinois Tollbooth Association (or Commission). Whatever. As The Rock used to say on wrestling, “It doesn’t MATTER what your name is ! “

You have been doing a terrific job handling my account for almost a decade now. Don’t get me wrong now…….I despise paying tolls. I thought this was a temp system that was supposed to be phased out over 15 years ago? Or was it 20 years? I’m also aware of past corruption and skimming episodes. Despite the good job you are doing with my account (I-PASS), I kind of wish your office would be shut down and eliminated. Nothing personal…..strictly business.

But you are doing a pretty solid job on the whole I-PASS program. I have never had my credit card billed inappropriately in my time with you. Only when my account dips down to the minimal level do you replenish it. I know….because I’ve monitored you occasionally. I do have my eye on you, buddy. But you seem to be doing an honest tracking of my account and I am always billed the same amount. Never any crazy charges I had to fight. So a back pat to you, too.

Hell, I even rememeber when there was a switch in the transponder boxes that you issue. You informed by mail that I had put down a larger safety deposit on my “older” unit. So you were crediting my account the difference between the current deposit amount and the higher figure that I had put up. Now that’s an honest government agency!!

So kudos to you both IDES and the Tollbooth Authority. I appreciate the work you have done for me and wanted to express my gratitude. These are two areas of my life that I don’t have to put much concern into. Well, the lack of a job thing really concerns me. But at least I don’t have to worry too much about the services I request from you. I seem to be able to count on you.

I’m not sure if I have ever thought or ever typed those words before about something to do with the government! Perhaps I am just a little bit sleep deprived. I’m going to bed.