0

If you don’t have a brother, get yourself one

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

I’ve extolled the virtues of family on some of my posts here a few times. My dad is battling some ill health right now and the whole family’s thoughts are with him constantly. My mom is the rock of the family. The epitome of a classic mom. Marian Cunningham from Happy Days. June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver. I had a cousin who was one of my best buddies. A real crazy man. We had a million laughs before he died way too young.

But I’ve only mentioned my brother in some passing events. He’s one of the regular Sunday football guys and he sometimes can go a little overboard when the Steelers are losing. And I’ve mentioned him as we went to the Chicago Blackhawks game together behind the glass last month and went to check out the band  West 34  together. 

The thing is, if you are a guy and you have a brother, you know what I’m talking about here. You are truly a rich man. Especially if you have just one brother. You have an ally that will have your back in any fight. You have a drinking partner any time you need one. A confidante any time you’re pissed at the world.

This brother of mine is really something. Ask anybody who knows him. Quite the character.

And the cool thing is that we enjoy doing things together and hang out quite a bit. I just went out for some hot wings and a few beers with him this past Friday afternoon. Of course, he picked up all my beers as soon as he got to the bar since he knows I’ve been off work for so long. And that’s not the first time. When I was off work the last time the economy was in the shitter—shortly after 9/11/2001—–we used to join a few other friends every Wednesday night for “Marguerita night” at Pepe’s Mexican restaurant. And he covered my end of the tab for a good four or five months.

Not only have we seen Hawks games right behind the glass together, but we also went to a Chicago Bears game at the 50 yard line courtesy of tickets from Mrs. McCaskey herself. Bro was her personal assistant at the fine china and giftware store that we worked at together. He had gotten me a job there after I had used up my usefulness at my prior stop. So whenever Virginia McCaskey came into the shop, she requested that my bro assist her. And eventually she gave him a pair of tix for a game. Sweet tix. And bro never hesitated in taking me to that game. {We beat the Chargers’ ass when they still had Drew Brees as their rookie quarterback}.

We also saw Game 1 of the 1984 National League playoffs together when the Cubs drubbed the Padres 13-0. Our dad threw in the big assist on that one by letting his young sons skip school that day and go to Wrigley on our own—sacrificing the experience himself. Me and bro had the time of our lives as the Cubs whupped ass that day.

The cool thing is that I have a lot of friends that have a single brother themselves. One of the best guys I know, Dick Ourada (front man of the legendary Dick Ourada Band lauded in this blog) has one brother. He’s the drummer in the band. So the two of them are pushing 40 at this point and still get together and kick out tunes and hang out all the time. Very close.

Then I have another set of buddies that are brothers. They live together at the moment. They’ve actually lived together on-and-off because usually at one point……just like me and my bro……if one guy is UP, the other guy can often be DOWN. But both of them are like brothers to me and would happily give you the shirt off their backs. Two of the greatest guys that I know.

When we were smaller kids, my brother and I used to wrestle like cats and dogs. We’d argue over a game of electric football or an Atari game. And I vivdly recall how one time my dad broke up one tussle by saying,

“Knock it off !! What is the matter with you guys? You’re supposed to be buddies ! When I had two sons, I thought they’d be friends for life. You’re supposed to look out for each other. I always wished I had a brother (he had three sisters). It breaks my heart to see you guys fighting all the time.”    

He had a legitimate pained look on his face. And I can honestly say that what he said ended that particular argument right there. And I have to think that he’s pretty happy about the buddies that me and bro have turned out to be. If anyone messes with my brother, they’re messing with me. And I have every confidence in the world that it is vice verse.

My bro and I play in the same fantasy baseball league. We share entries in various sports pools. We check out cool music together and share CDs. When we were kids, we egged houses together and set off smoke bombs on the neighbors’ porches. Threw snowballs at buses and cars. We shared a paper route. He came down to see me in Carbondale at SIU and it was Animal House down there. We’ve seen AC/DC together twice, Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy (numerous times), the Who (that was quite an adventure), and numerous others. I even turned his ass on to the TV show Survivor (which he mocked with a passion previously). He turned me on to Family Guy.

We’ve gone to Vegas together and tore it up.

He’s the only guy who can keep up with me shot-for-shot when we’re drinking. The only one.

I just wish that some of the cool friends I have that don’t have a brother had one.

I have a sister too who is the ultimate. Without her, the family would kind of be splintered with my p’s living in another state and everything. She’s awesome in a thousand ways.

And one time, my mom told me that sis once said in a conversation that she wished she had a sister that she could hang out with and confide in and be close to. I know where she is coming from. I would feel exactly the same way if there was another sister and I didn’t have bro.

Man, that would suck. Big time.

So if you don’t have a brother, I’m very sorry. There is a friend that no matter what happens, I will drop what I’m doing and go on a rampage if necessary. Nobody…..and I mean nobody..messes with my brother.   

Ever.

0

Leaving your mark on the world

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

I’ve had some exposure recently to a few situations and conversations about a topic most people probably wouldn’t connect with being something I really believe in. I’m talking about being an organ donor.

I really don’t exactly know why I feel rather strongly about it. I really don’t. There’s two reasons that might be why. 

One is that I’ve had many, many friends pass away over the last 23 years or so. More than average for not being a gang banger in a terrible neighborhood or socioeconomic situation. Way more than just average attrition. Many were definately brought on by the deceased person himself. My twenties and thirties were chock full of over-indulgence and bad decisions. We put ourselves at risk weekly. Associated with some really dangerous people. The truth is, there’s been a number of situations where I was lucky to make it back home with my life many nights. Terrible driving decisions, having guns pointed at me, dangerous and nasty fights / confrontations, and the forementioned over-indulgences.

And then there are the usual mishaps that any of us are prone too……spinning a 360 on the expressway in snowy, slick conditions, a handful of car accidents that you had absolutely no fault in, an appendix I tried to “tough out” until it nearly burst……

So I’ve lost a good 22-24 friends under the age of 45 since I myself was about eighteen. Which wasn’t all that long ago. They perished due to drug overdoses, suicides, drunken driving accidents, etc. And then a couple succumbed to disease such as cancer, and in one case, the respiratory failings and seizures that resulted from a long-ago gunshot wound. 

This is one reason that comes to mind as to why I might give such a strong endorsement to organ donation. But then again, very few of these friends could have been saved thru some sort of donation. Their deaths were pretty instant in most cases. Even with my father very ill right now and hospitalized again (still), he isn’t in any need of any organ transplant. So I’m not so sure this is the driving force behind my position.

What I really DO think is the main thrust behind why I think just about all of us should be donors is simply that it is the right thing to do

Plain and simple. What the hell are we trying to hold on to?

When I do head off to the next dimension; the other side…..whatever that may be……I don’t want a big funeral and I don’t want my surviving loved ones to dish out a bunch of money on a casket and a burial plot for the whole ceremony / ritual thing most people do. If other people desire that kind of sendoff, I have no problem with that. By all means, honor a person’s final wishes and put them to rest in the manner they wanted. Absolutely no problem with that.

But I myself am not much for religion. In a very two-faced, contradictory statement, if there is a heaven out there—-I hope to be invited in and spend the rest of eternity there. I just don’t want my family to spend a ton of money on all of the pomp and circumstance that is a formal funeral.

Give all of my functional and useful organs to sick people that need them. And then cremate me and drop my ashes over Soldier Field or US Cellular Field in Chicago. Or at most, take a helicopter ride over the Strip in Las Vegas and scatter my ashes over Sin City. But first and foremost, give my organs to suffering people.

Anything that someone could use…..my eyes, my lungs, my kidneys, my heart. You can try and give someone my liver, but I’m not so sure it would be better than the one they already have. That particular organ of mine has quite a bit of mileage on it.

I don’t need any of that stuff anymore. Some of the living still do. Give it to ’em.

Some people say that they won’t (or can’t) be a donor for religious reasons. But one of the exposures I recently had on this subject seemed to make a really, really good point. If you are a religious person and embrace the virtues of being kind to others…..to sharing…..to treating your fellow man with dignity and respect……to making the world a better place…..etc.

What greater gift could you give your fellow man? What act could be more generous and selfless? What greater legacy could you possibly leave this world than to help another human being live a long, healthy life?

I always wanted to write the next great American novel. Or be some sort of prolific writer that left a library of material for future generations to learn from and appreciate. I wanted to do something that would have an impact. It doesn’t look like that is going to happen. I’m not going to be a doctor or researcher that cures a terrible disease. Or a fireman that saves many lives over the course of his career. I’m not going to discover the next great energy source or win a monumental civil rights case before the Supreme Court.

So what the hell can I do to just leave the slightest trace that I was once here on this planet? And that I did at least one worthwhile thing? To have an impact?

I can donate my organs to people that desperately need them.

Even if I was a great writer like J.D. Salinger or Hemingway, leaving a collection of great stories in my wake isn’t enough. If I was a great painter, leaving a handful of masterpieces wouldn’t be enough. But if a seriously ill teenager received my kidneys or lungs and lived to be 69, now there would be something that trumps those other things. At least to me.

So I’m a donor and I encourage everyone to seriously consider it. Believe me, you won’t feel a thing when it happens. If you do believe in any sort of afterlife where a higher power than yourself will pass judgement on you, what better achievement could you have on your resume?

Give it a thought. Just consider it. Talk about it with your family. 

Perhaps one of them will be the eventual recipient. Your (currently) young nephew or niece. One of your own granchildren a long time from now.

How ’bout that?

0

What do we really know ?

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

As you watch the endless parade of doomsday shows that they air on the History Channel, some of them really get you thinking that we could be in trouble. And others just seem pretty dismissable. At least compared to the ones that sprinkle a little science in ’em.

Seems like just about everyone has come up with some sort of system to predict world events and ultimately, the final day. They’ve showed the usual stories of Nostradamus and the Mayans, but have also given lots of time to the alleged “bible code”, various mega disasters, the book of Revelation, the Chinese I Ching, and much more.

The one theory that does intrigue me is the multiple prophecies that we’re finished in 2012. More specifically, December 21, 2012. I like having fun with some of my friends acting like it is an iron clad guarantee that this will be the final day. Like I believe it with all my heart and soul. Of course, I don’t have any idea what will happen in 2012. I don’t even know what I’m going to have for dinner tonite.

But I get a kick out of playing around with my buddies. One of my regular Sunday football guys wants to go to a Super Bowl in his lifetime. He just wants to experience the spectacle of it all. And whenever he brings it up, I always tell him,

“Well you better do it in the next couple years, buddy. Cuz there won’t be any more Super Bowls after 2012 ! “

Or when someone talks about retirement—-which actually does look like a long shot for a great deal of us as each year passes where we have to dip into savings just to get by—–I like to tease,

Oh Christ….retirement ! That’s a mythological character like profit-sharing and company loyalty. Besides, none of us will be around when it’s time to retire. We’re all finished after 2012.” 

But for my real friends…..the true friends that really know me and my sense of humor best….they know I’m just screwing around.

Along with playing a faux devil’s advocate with my friends though, what also amuses me immensely is the certainty that these “experts” speak with on these History Channel shows. Some believe that we are indeed goners in December 2012 and they attempt to back it up with discussion of the Earth’s alignment in the solar system at that time, the accuracy of other prophecies by the same oracles / doctrines, and the current state of our wacky weather and the environment.

And then there are those “experts” that completely dismiss the whole December 21, 2012 thing and they back up their position with various “facts”, theories, and explanations. They are 110% sure that December 21, 2012 will be like any other day and there is nothing to suggest otherwise, etc. etc.

Both sides amuse me with their certainty and confidence.

I like to think of myself as a ultra-pure realist. I love to get lost in books of fiction and movies and the like—mainly to escape the realistic approach I carry with me in real life. I don’t go around with rose colored glasses on. I don’t sugarcoat bad things. I tell it like it is. To hell with being politically correct and all that nonsense.

To some, this may project a jaded or negative outlook. But in the same token, when something is good…when there is something to be celebrated or complimented…..something beautiful or heroic, I give due credit and sing its praises. The people that see me as negative and pessimistic are usually the ones that walk around in the rose colored glasses most of the time. They step in a pile of dogshit and consider it a bright spot in their day. I consider it a pain-in-the-ass.

But if they feel I am negative, don’t blame me—blame the news. We are force-fed an endless stream of negative news stories barely intermingled with an occasional good one. They teach you this in media courses that it is done entirely on purpose. People simply won’t watch story after story of “do-gooders” and charitable actions. Some will. Most won’t. We bring on all of the negativity out there ourselves with what we view on the dummy box. 

But back to the so-called “experts” on the History Channel shows. And my realistic outlook on society.

The truth is, we don’t know anything about ANYTHING ! Any person of intelligence will readily acknowledge that we know about .0005 of 1% of what there is to know about the world around us and just about any advanced subject in it. Whether it be functions of the brain, how our environment truly works, psychology, astrophysics, geneology, biology, outer space, or any other field that has hundreds of text books and is taught in every school, the truth of the matter is that we have an infant’s knowledge of what is actually out there to be learned on any advanced field.

Hell, we don’t know what causes SIDS. We don’t know how to cure cancer, AIDS, MS, Parkinsons, or Alzheimers.

We’re not even capable of stopping terrorists from boarding planes on Christmas Day. Thus, we don’t even know how to enforce a decent security system to protect ourselves.

We can’t come up with (and implement) a renewable energy source to replace our reliance on oil.

We can’t even put together the evidence to put away obvious killers like OJ Simpson. And if he is indeed innocent, we don’t have the wherewithal to track down who really did it.

We’re not absolutely certain everything about the Kennedy assassination and who may have been involved.

We feel we are close, but we still can’t predict (and be proactive about) earthquakes like just happened in Haiti.

Hell, we can’t even put together a decent response to weather catastrophes that we ARE aware of ahead of time like Hurricane Katrina.

But we are absolutely, 110%, unequivocally positive that nothing is going to happen on December 21, 2012. So many people are absolutely sure about it. It’s going to be a cold (at least in North America), but otherwise beautiful day in the world. Sunshine, lollipops, and gumdrops all over the globe. No volcano eruptions, no hurricanes, no tsunamis, no earthquakes, no meteor showers, nothing. We’re positive.

At least that’s what the great majority of scientists and historians and experts spout off. And because most of us “lay” people are robots who believe just about anything we’re told, 98% of the populace believes the same thing.

I don’t necesarily believe it. But I am hoping they are correct. I’d like to see a cold, but sunny day myself on 12/21/12.

If we could just figure out a few of the more simpler things though to ease my mind. Like out-of bounds calls in football, and fair or foul ball calls in baseball. Anything.

Then I’d be just a bit more comfortable.

0

Tidbits, observations, and tips

Dude, I’m tellin ya……..

As I enter Day 8 of my battle with the flu, I’ve had some ample TV time and lots of down time to think about things going on around me.

First off, is it me or is it just so ridiculous the way the incumbent party jumps to its feet 116 times every time a President gives a State of the Union address? As you all know my opinion on politics at this point, I’m sure it’s rather obvious that I don’t watch these spectacles. But seeing as how they broadcast it on every other channel when they do occur (like Wednesday night), one can’t help but catch four or five minutes of the whole affair. And every time I’m flipping past the speech, the Prez can’t say 50 words without the people in attendance jumping to their feet and giving him a standing O.

I mean it’s comical after a while, isn’t it? Putting aside my disinterest in politics, I just find it funny how the live audience of Washington insiders do this. And it’s been going on as long as I can remember. No matter who the President. Obviously, most of the people in live attendance are his staunchest supporters including his own cabinet members and closest allies in Washington. But I have to admit that sometimes I stop and watch perhaps 2-3 minutes of the speech just to see how many times the audience jumps to their feet in Pavlovian-esque response to what the man is saying.

He could say, “When our forefathers laid down their lives to build this great nation (standing O)………they knew that they were part of something bigger and better than just advancing democracy (standing O). They knew that they were laying the foundation for our children (standing O) and their children (standing O) and many generations of Americans to come (standing O).”

I just find it hilarious to watch the grandstanding and the blind support and the whole pageantry. And then when it is over, the other party gives their reply. And the speech was written prior to the President’s address. No matter what the President says while he is on-stage, the response has already been written, edited, and re-edited. The Prez could sing the praises of the other party, state that their approach to government is indeed best, and announce that he is switching political affiliations. And the other party would read the same pre-prepared response.

Such nonsense.

On a more serious and legitimate subject, if you didn’t come out to that last show I was pumping for the band  West 34  at Rolling Lanes earlier this month, y’all messed up big-time. They blew the friggin roof off the place. My buddy “Big Wave” Dave Johnson did me the favor of playing my usual request. I’m sure he gets tired of me asking them to play the Eric Johnson guitar piece Cliffs of Dover. But he usually does it for me every time I attend their shows and I just love it. He belts it out like EJ himself and you won’t hear a better rendition if you go and pay $50 at The Aragon downtown (Chicago) when Eric Johnson rolls thru every three or four years. Or ten.

So if you missed the show, you messed up. But you can redeem yourself. The band is playing the same venue on Saturday, February 27. They have several gigs in-between now and then where you can see them play. Check out their website at the end of this post. But me and my friends will be back up at Rolling Lanes in Countryside to hear these guys sing the blues. Last gig, Dave was up on top of the tables while a group of hot blondes were shaking their thing up by the stage. Raucous stuff for a bowling alley bar.

I’ve also spent some time on-line reading another buddy’s website called ShareMyShot.com

I think I have mentioned this site long ago when I was offering suggestions on great hot wings, cool websites, and other such things. But now this site is well-established and it’s really pretty entertaining. This buddy of mine goes downtown to work every day and actually tries (alcoholic) shots that people have sent in or suggested to the people that work there. They have a big office on the floor of some building on Wacker Drive and he gets paid to drink shit like Buttery Nipples and the Vulcan Mind Meld.

Unbelieveable.

But the write-ups he gives these drinks are often kind of funny and they give you the exact recipe and offer up a nice, little history of some of the ingredients like Ouzo or Hpnotiq. Check it out. Bookmark it. They put up fresh material almost every day and it’s often worth a chuckle.

Finally, as I’ve been laid up ill, I’ve caught up to reruns of my all-time favorite show——All in the Family. I just love Archie Bunker to death. And one of the chief reasons why is because Archie reminds me so much of my dad. My father isn’t a bigot as Archie was. Not by any means. It’s the other personality traits that they share that makes the connection for me.

Like mispronouncing celebrity and sports stars names. My brother and I always got such a big kick when we were growing up when my father would refer to former Chicago Blackhawks superstar Stan Mikita as “Stan Mosquita”. Or when he would misquote old cliches or adages that people use. Combine them like, “You know what they say…..the early bird always lets sleeping dogs lie.”

Sometimes he would do it on purpose, but many times he was serious about it. The thing I relate to the most is when Archie picks on his son-in-law Mike about how lazy he is or how much he eats. My dad would often call my brother or I  ” Billy Big Eyes ” as we forked some corn beef on to our plate or grabbed several slices of pizza out of the box. And whenever we cut the grass or mowed the lawn, somehow it was always “a half-assed job”.

On a recent episode of Archie, his wife Edith gave kudos for the son-in-law fixing the light in the kitchen. And Archie told her, “The guy changed a lightbulb, Edith. Don’t act like he re-wired the joint.”

Start feeling better soon, Pop.

Don’t make me come out there to Vegas.

You know how I am out there.

Nuts.

http://www.sharemyshot.com

http://www.west34.com

0

Asshole of the month January 2010

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

This month’s slimy stool could actually be the Asshole of the Month in just about any month over the past few years. The people who have been around him would tell you that thought could really apply to the last several years. But this scumbag is in the news yet again as a special trial began last week concerning the various women he has murdered and smirked to the rest of us about. You’d be hard-pressed to find a more pungent pile of manure than this month’s winner.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you January 2010’s Asshole of the Month………Drew Peterson.

While this douche bag makes most women recoil and slightly vomit in their mouths, unfortunately a small handful of women have been drawn to his smug, butt-ugly looks and perhaps the fact that he was one of the inept, glorified meter maids that comprise the Bolingbrook, Illinois police department. How otherwise rational thinking women get lured in close to this prick bastard is beyond me. But a few have, and they paid the ultimate price for nuzzling up next to a dangerous sociopath.

For those of you not overly familiar with this fucktard, he’s the dirty cop who killed his third wife as she bathed in her bathtub some years ago. And being a member of law enforcement in the United States—where you can basically do any damn thing you want to the average citizen and walk away from it—he did exactly that. With hardly a glance from his colleagues holding up that blue wall with all their strength. And as a result of their customary “look-the-other-way” policy when one of their own kills, robs, beats, or maims someone, another young lady paid with her own life a few years later.

Stacy Peterson, the fourth poor woman to inexplicably allow this pale, bloated jackass to climb on top of her, disappeared in late October 2007. She hasn’t been seen since and extensive searches have not recovered her body. Drew’s stepbrother has repeatedly told the story of how he helped this wanker remove a large blue container from the house that he believes contained Stacy’s body. Dozens of other people close to the situation have described Stacy’s white-knuckle fear of her monster husband and told many confidants that if she ever disappeared, it was because he killed her……not because she left or ran away.

And for the past two years and counting, we have been subjected to this publicity seeking shithead shrugging his shoulders and treating us like dumbass morons as cops are notorious for doing. In many cases, the media is just as submerged in the cesspool as he is. There’s some news agencies that report on him either objectively or with a bit of disgust and contempt. But then there are those news outlets that treat him like a witty comedian, chase him around like lovestruck high school kids, and laugh at his asinine comments.

One of the clips that turns my stomach the most is when this fuck face was apprehended and is being led thru the prison property in his orange jumpsuit and delivering his routine to the gaping reporters nearby. And on the audio, you can hear some of the press actually laughing at some of his lame ass jokes and banter. Some of them willingly play his “set-up” man. If this was medieval times, they would properly be spitting on and throwing rotten vegetables at this murderous dick bandit. But he gets his couple of laughs and in essence, thumbs his nose at how ignorant and adoring we are to a cold-blooded killer.

The thing that amazes me is how he even attracted these pretty young women in the first place. In every picture and videotape I’ve ever seen of this talking flatulence, he’s a doughy, double chinned donkey with a cheesy mustache and beady little eyes. He is out of shape and even older photos of when he was on the force don’t suggest otherwise. His personality has been portrayed as controlling and maniacally jealous. The type of insecure chode chewer that makes his women wear beepers and report their whereabouts at all times. Explain who they have been with every time they go out.

I guess some women are just so attracted to a man in uniform that they abandon all of their usual standards. Even when the guy is a tool with a little tiny pecker.

The only hope left is that he is not only properly convicted of killing his third wife, but also found responsible for the disappearance of Stacy as well. Then stash him away with the pedophiles and other perverts in the worst section of the prison population. If he were to walk away from all this and resume his media / comedy tour, it’s only a matter of time before another girl winds up in a blue container.

I do have some major worries though that this will indeed happen. The police do what they want in this country and the laughingstock that is the US court system allows it to happen. Now if the police say that I was part of the Kennedy assassination in 1963, then by God I was part of the Kennedy assassination. And I wasn’t even born until 1970. But that’s the bad joke that is the judicial system in the United States. This smelly little willy sac has a good chance of walking away scot-free. Because he is a former card carrying member of the whole facade.

This guy is the epitome of when we need the judicial system to work properly. Every person who has ever known this knob polisher has testified what a loser he is. Neighbors, relatives, and friends of Stacy are all consistent in relaying her fears and warnings that she was about to come up missing or dead. Last week, Drew’s own son testified that he did not love his father. The stepbrother allegedly tried to kill himself after aiding this asshole with the blue container. No one anywhere seems to have one positive thing to say about this flesh colored shaft.

Lock him up and throw away the key. And then maybe the judges, the judicial system, and law enforcement in general will earn back some of the doubt, disappointment, disgust, and disdain that I currently hold for them.

0

What the hell is true wealth ?

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

A couple of things had me thinking lately about the measure of wealth among celebrities and other people.

First there was the telethon for the victims of Haiti on Friday night and all the celebs that appeared and appealed for donations on behalf of the people hurting on the island nation. And then when I was laid up with a bad dose of the flu all weekend, I saw a few episodes of MTV Cribs on the dummy box and it got me thinking even more.

Usually I hate celebrities. Partly out of jealousy and partly out of many of their pompous atttitudes and statements. Like those celebrities that spout off about the government (Alec Baldwin, Danny Glover, Susan Sarandon, et al). Or those that just go on those back-patting talk shows and act like they have more deep-rooted and personal experiences than the rest of us on one topic or another (Tom Cruise). Many of them dropped out of high school or skipped college in pursuit of their craft…..which I have no problem with. But then they give these anecdotes to Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel about how passionate they are on a certain subject like they have five times the life experiences that the general public has.

And in some elements of life, they do have more applicable life experiences. They have traveled to parts of the globe that most of us have not. And in doing so, they can see the orphans left behind after a natural catastrophe or the damage done by a drought or maniacal dictator. But in the same token, they have wealth that limits their scope on reality. They see suffering and believe they can relate on a true, same-as-you-and-me level. In a lot of cases, they simply can’t.

While they may have a social conscience and feel strongly about a cause, many celebs are second (or even third generation) celebrities and have no clue what it is like to personally be down and out. Some have come from humble beginnings. Others have not. I don’t mean to diss people like Drew Barrymore, Liza Minelli, or Michael Douglas— or younger people like Miley Cyrus or even an Angelina Jolie….but they have had money, security and comfort their whole lives. The Barrymore and Douglas families have been Hollywood institutions for decades. Liza is the daughter of Judy Garland. Miley is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. And Jolie is the daughter of actor Jon Voight. They have never known what it is like to go three or four days without eating.

However, when I do see them on a telethon like Friday night’s fundraiser, I do tip my hat to them. I imagine that every single celebrity from Bruce Springsteen to George Clooney and the rest all donated a healthy sum to the Haitian people. God bless them for doing so. They are in a position to get the word out on this tragedy and then back it up with big checks. Totally admirable actions.

Although this really isn’t a post on morals and the sincerity behind philanthropic endeavors. Nor the legitimacy of the life lessons some of these celebs put forth. It’s just an observation of the wacky world of celebrity wealth.

Later in the weekend, I saw a few episodes of MTV Cribs and saw them showing the huge mansions and car collections of what I consider B-list and C-list celebs. People like the drummer from the band Cake. Or a very successful but virtually unknown BMX champion (unless you follow that genre). Or some young rap star that I’m totally unfamiliar with.

And it makes me think that if these people have that much money, how much does Charlie Watts (Rolling Stones drummer), a Tony Hawk or Jeremy McGrath (huge extreme sports stars), or 50 Cent have?

Celebs like Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty or football star Peyton Manning have huge, huge sums of money. How much damn money does Elton John, Madonna, Eric Clapton or Mick Jagger have? And compared to them, how much does Oprah, Steven Spielberg, or Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling have?

After a while, it just blows your mind away thinking about it.

There’s people that don’t even enter your thoughts until you research it a little bit. How many times have you watched a rerun on TV and at the end saw that it was owned/distributed/whatever by the Carsey-Werner partnership? These people have been behind juggernauts like The Cosby Show, Roseanne, That 70’s Show, 3rd Rock From the Sun, and many more. The Werner behind the partnership also owns baseball’s Boston RedSox.

Now we have Simon Cowell climbing the list of astronomical wealth. Rumor has it that Conan O’Brien is getting a good $40 million to step aside from the Tonite Show. How much has David Letterman and Leno accumulated thru the years?

How about baseball stud Alex Rodriguez? In December 2000, he signed a 10 year, $252 million dollar contract with the Texas Rangers. He opted out of the final few years of that contract in October 2009 to ink a fresh deal with the Yankees for 10 years at $275 million dollars. This man is down for about a half-billion dollars to swing a wooden stick at a baseball. If you have a son, put a bat in his hands and start throwing him batting practice.

Or do what Tiger Woods’ dad did. Get him interested in golf at a young age.

Or put a guitar in his hands.

This whole conversation makes me want to see a list with as much accuracy as can be determined on who ranks where in the world of wealth. Is Shaquille O’Neill higher up than Brad Pitt? Is Steven Tyler of Aerosmith higher up than The Who’s Pete Townsend? And how does Eddie Van Halen factor into things?

Then there’s the couples who have combined their wealth (except for pre-marriage agreements) like Jolie and Pitt. Or how about Beyonce and Jay-Z ? Finally, we have the king………Bill Gates. What would you give to be his grandson or nephew?

For me, the answer is ZERO. I’m so happy to be the son of the people that raised me. I doubt Bill Gates had much time to play catch with his boy. Or go to the Sox game three or four times a year. Or show him how to fix a bike tire. Or bring home packs of baseball cards from work. Or go up to the local racetrack for some demolition derby. Or play pool in the humble, little basement for the “family title”. The winner gets to play his music during the next challenge. My dad would try to throw me off by playing the Everly Brothers (which it did) and I would try to distract him with Metallica (which it did).

So what the hell is true wealth ?

See the paragraph above that question.

There ya go. Now that’s freakin’ wealth. Simon Cowell just seems wealthy.

0

Politics, schmolitics

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

So a lot of people seem very happy that the Republicans won the special election out there in Massachusetts. Even the woman who gave me my haircut at SuperCuts or GreatClips or wherever the hell I got it said she hoped the Dems “get what they have coming to ’em “.   

And my thought was, “Just cut my damn hair and don’t nick the ears, darlin’ “.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I can’t STAND the world of politics and even being around discussions of it. Perhaps I’m not as intellectual as the next person. If that’s the case, I openly admit it. But I just find it all to be such a cess pool no matter if it’s Republicans, Democrats, conservatives, liberals, independents, left-wingers, right-wingers, or whomever. I don’t know who belongs to which side and I don’t want to know.

As I’ve stated, just put me down as a Tired American. That’s my political party. It doesn’t matter who’s in the President’s office…….millions and millions of Americans hate him no matter what he’s doing. I know a lot of people who were ecstatic when Obama was elected and sworn in. And some of those same people are mad as hell at him now. And some of those people still are behind him. But having the title of President of the United States makes you one of the least popular men on the planet. It comes with the territory.

We could have a rejuvenated economy right now with millions of people back to work and the stock market going up 200 points per day. Gas prices could be back to $1.00 per gallon and the administration could design a health care system that all other nations race to copy. And millions of American people would still despise whomever we have in charge.

We could get wet kisses and bearhugs from every (former) enemy on the globe singing our praises for our humanitarian efforts, our drive for peace on Earth, and our tolerance of all ways of life. And tens of millions of Americans would abhor the President who created such warm and fuzzy feelings.

The President could be like Harrison Ford in a bunch of his movies and personally save 500 children stuck in a California forest fire going in and carrying them out over his shoulder one-by-one…….and 33% of the populace would call him an egotistical glory seeker.

I have better things to concern myself with and worry about. My ill father. The recent loss of a young friend. Getting a new job and paying my bills. Sure, some people would say that the Oval Office and politics in general are the most integral ingredient toward me finding a new job. I don’t buy it. I’ve been unemployed under Republican Presidents and I’ve been unemployed under Democratic Presidents. And not from bad attendance or irreconciliable differences with the boss. Just because. Who the hell really knows why? Not me.

It could be the owners didn’t have a clue on how to run a business. Or were stealing from the till. It could be that there just wasn’t a market for the goods my company was selling in that area. { You know what they say….location, location, location ! }. It could be that even though my company was thriving, they tried to over-expand too quickly and fouled everything up. It could be that a major corporation like WalMart or somebody stamped out the 60 year old family business I was with. Or it could just be that the boss’ nephew graduated college and he needed a job—so they had to purge someone more experienced and talented to find a spot for him.

But I don’t believe that the current dude sitting in the Executive chair and all the nonsense that goes on in Congress and the House dictate my job, my personal life, and my day-to-day triumphs and failures. Nor anybody sitting in the chair before him. Or in the future.

More than any administration, any military action, any health care proposals, or any foreign policies, my life and day-to-day experiences have been most influenced by my parents and their terrific values and work ethic, my own good or bad decisions about wine, women and song, some fabulous teachers, drunk drivers, the police and their unchecked Gestapo ways, the performance of my damn vehicles, the weather, the support of friends and family, etc. etc. etc.

I’m 40 years old I can’t hardly think of three instances in which the mechanics of our government have directly affected my life in a really big way. It’s all a bunch of overblown nonsense unless you are a direct part of it like a Senator, or you are the head of a HUGE corporation / industry like Bill Gates, or the leader of another country like Saddam Hussein. Otherwise, I just don’t feel it. Never have.

As far as my day-to-day life, I put more credence in what Tom Skilling says, or Bears coach Lovie Smith is doing, or what the daily special is at the Rolling Lanes diner. From Presidents Carter to Clinton, and Bush Jr. to Obama, these guys are FAR down the list of people whose actions I have concerned myself with. I could give a rat’s ass about the Massachusetts election, the health care reform bill, progress—–or the lack of progress in Afghanistan and Iraq { although I do care about the well-being of the people stationed there purely as individuals….just out of human compassion for my fellow man—-then again, every last one of them volunteered. All of them. There is no draft. They are there willingly no matter how you cut it. I didn’t want to ever find myself embroiled in that sort of nonsense, so I didn’t join the service. Plain and simple }.    

People may still try and passionately tell me that the entire economy and joblessness is completely tied in to politics. Hey, when the economy was thriving, there were still big conglomerates, banks, and other companies / people imbezzling and doing improper, illegal practices. It’s been going on since the beginnings of this country and it will continue until the very last day. And even when the economy is thriving, there are still TONS of people out of work. And being foreclosed on. And filing bankruptcy. It doesn’t matter who is in the White House. Good economy….bad economy……Republican administration……Democratic administration……..it simply doesn’t matter. It’s a cess pool.

Politics and politicians are an overflowing toilet bowl of corrupt, lying, thieving, scumbags. And if this nation lasts a thousand years, we will never, NEVER all be holding hands singing Kumbaya.

So just move on to more important things. Like the new season of American Idol, or taking down those Christmas decorations from your yard already.

You know who I’m talking about !!!!!!

0

Time Flies When You’re Having Fun

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

It’s been kind of weird, but I have had so many reminders lately about how fast time flies by. This realization started for me a good 7 or 8 years ago on a certain level. I noticed it happening in my own life once I hit age 30. And as you relay this concept to an older person than yourself, almost unanimously their reply is that the older you get, the faster and faster it goes. Each day goes by quicker than the last. Each month flies by faster than the previous one. And finally, each year zips past so much more rapidly than the prior one. These are some of the truer statements I’ve ever been told.

But over the last four months or so, I have really had a good dose of reminders of how accelerated time is becoming in my life.

I think being unemployed has been one of the chief indicators of this thought lately. You would think that the boredom and the feeling of uselessness would make for long, drawn out days. But what I’m finding is that I do not have enough time each week to do everything on my ” To Do ” list. I get up and start doing my errands and chores, look for work on-line and in the papers, and in the blink of an eye it is 4pm and I haven’t eaten anything or done half the things scheduled for that day. And the situation is enhanced as you know your unemployment benefits are winding down and time is running out to land that new job.

I actually am beginning to really dread calling in for my next benefits check because each call brings me that much closer to D-Day. And it seems like every time I turn around, it is time to call in again.

Then when my dad fell ill again recently, it reminded me and my whole family of when he fell sick a little while back. He was hospitalized for about 10-12 days or so and we were all seriously concerned. Happily, he rebounded and returned home where he has been OK until this recent setback. But as the family has discussed matters, it dawned on us that his previous struggles were 16-17 months ago !! It’s really hard to believe. Almost a full year-and-a-half !!

Man, how time flies.

Then as we all celebrated New Years Eve this year and welcomed the start of a new decade, I realized how fast the last 10 years flew by. I remember the whole Y2K scare like it was yesterday and the excitement of starting a new millenium and all that. I know exactly what friend’s house I was at for that New Years party and everyone who was there with me. I remember specific conversations. And going out on the host’s back deck to pop open the bottles of champagne so as not to make a mess in her basement.

I remember yelling to my one buddy not to point his cork at my face (like he was inadvertantly doing) because ” I don’t have any health insurance, man !! ” 

Here we are 10 years later and although I have had health coverage since then at times, at the moment, I do not.

Damn, how time flies !!

Now just this past weekend as I was watching football with the boys, we all couldn’t believe that this Sunday is “Championship Sunday” where the last two games will be played to determine the Super Bowl participants. Then the Super Bowl, and football is over for another season. The realization blew our minds. We’ve already plowed thru 17 weeks of the regular season and 2 weeks of playoffs. All of us present remember having a shot toast on Opening Day for the season and being so excited that football would be a weekly gathering for us the next four months. Now it’s just about over already.

Good Lord, does time fly by fast !

And speaking of Opening Days, at least one consolation for us sports guys is that baseball spring training starts in about six weeks. So in about 2-3 weeks max, I have to start getting some serious research done for my fantasy baseball draft. I can’t believe it. I’m still smarting from the lousy showing I did last year and it’s time to buy a magazine and start ranking players again. A friend of mine just went to the Cubs Convention this past weekend. According to her, the players and coaches are ready to rock n’ roll. We hold our fantasy draft in mid-March and in the blink of an eye, it’s going to be Feb 1 already !!!

Holy smokes, does time fly !

It just seems like last weekend I was at my buddy’s annual Christmas party (Dec. 19) and enjoying the holiday at my sister’s house on the 25th. And that was just about a full month ago on both events.

It all adds up to another reminder to live each day to the fullest as best you can. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Enjoy each week and month with as many things jam-packed into it as you can. Get your kids out sledding on the next decent snowfall because it could very well be the last one this winter. Start watching the Blackhawks whenever they’re on because they’ve already played more than half of their (regular season) games. Prepare yourself that in another month or six weeks, it’s almost time to start the dreaded Spring Cleaning.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get going…….it’s already 3:30 in Chicago and I still have about eight things to do on my list for today. I can’t screw around here any longer telling you how fast time flies.

After all, I think you all know what I’m talking about.

So whatever it is you have to do……get to it.

0

Another good man taken way too early

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………..

I’m saddened to report today on the loss of a friend over the weekend. He was just 39 years old. This is a pretty significant loss to the dudeimtellinya.com family as it was this man who started this website. His name was Tom, but we all affectionately called him Morty. His dad apparently carried that moniker and Tom was really close to his father. So at a certain point in time, he started going by the nickname Morty.

Back in high school, he used to have people over to his home almost every day to hang out and listen to music and sneak in a couple of beers. He dubbed his little hideaway Morty’s Pub. And no matter when you went over to Morty’s Pub, there was always a few other people hanging out laughing it up. Morty was always the gracious host—happy to have his friends over enjoying his hospitality.

Eventually, Morty asked a friend of ours who is quite the computer whiz and has created dozens of websites and blogs over the years to construct one for him. One of his favorite phrases was, “Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…….”

Such as, “Dude, I’m tellin’ ya, the WhiteSox are gonna kick some ass this year.”

or

“Dude, I’m tellin’ ya, there’s no better place in the country than the California coast, man ! ”

Morty loved California and had travelled out there in his VW bus when he was in his late teens or right around 20. Some health circumstances made him come back to Illinois where his family was. But he always wanted to get back out there. Permanently. To him, they were the greatest times of his life. The weather. The colorful people. The freedom he enjoyed out there. The laid-back lifestyle. He mentioned getting back out there soon at least a half-dozen times to me over the last nine months.

So he wanted a blog site where he could expound on his love for his family, California, classic rock music (especially Pink Floyd, Led Zep, and The Who), VW buses, and other things that he cherished and felt strongly about. So our computer whiz buddy built this little blog site and purchased the domain name dudeimtellinya.com just for Morty. He posted in the early days of the site, but his health sometimes interfered with his ability to stay on top of it regularly. When I wanted to start blogging, our buddy suggested that I reinvigorate dudeimtellinya.com

And here we find ourselves today. Mourning the loss of the site’s founding father. The name never changed and on every post I have ever put up, I have started it with ol’ Morty’s favorite catch phrase.

I moved to where I currently live just 7 months ago in July 2009. Prior to this, I was living out in Aurora, Illinois about 10 minutes from Morty’s house. When I got out there, I didn’t know anyone in that area except my sister and Morty. Within a week of my arrival, he had learned I was nearby and reached out to me. We hadn’t seen each other in upwards of 20 years (high school). We met up at a local watering hole that he clued me into and we spent about three hours reminiscing about the good ol’ days. He told me about some of the cooler places in town where I could shop and get some good grub.

Over the next twelve months that I lived out in Aurora, he invited me to his house many times where I was privileged to meet his mother on several occasions. We even learned that our sisters went to high school together a few years before we did and performed together in the school choir. I hung out with him and we watched WhiteSox games and one of his favorite shows—–Cheaters……laughing at the sneaky people on there getting caught cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends. Although Morty really didn’t have a mean bone in his body. After I moved, we still hooked up for Bears games and just to shoot the shit.

That same computer whiz buddy runs a website where our high school stays in touch with uncommon regularity (for free…unlike that pay-to-play classmates site somewhere out there). Morty was one of the original members (the site now has over 3200 alumni spanning 50 years that chat, support each other’s pursuits, and get together for numerous functions). He made over 10,000 posts and was a regular at every BBQ, Christmas party, band gig, out-of-town visitor bar gathering, birthday celebration, etc.

He absolutely loved being part of that community of ours. He knew everyone and everyone knew Morty. He just loved it. Loved it.

On my birthday last March 11, he called me up and said there was no way we weren’t going to go out and have a few coldies together on him. So we went to this little Irish bar out there in Aurora (that he had turned me on to) and we spent most of the afternoon there. I asked him that day why he wasn’t also involved on Facebook since he loved the high school site so much. I told him how that social networking site could let him hook up with all of his old friends that didn’t happen to go to our high school. He said he didn’t think he’d be that interested because he had the high school site. But that he’d look into it when he got home.

Next thing you know, by the following day, Morty is a member of Facebook and I have a “friend request” from him. By the time I clicked ‘yes’ to approve him, he already had 25 friends and in short order, he was up to 150. 

But that was Morty. I never heard him knock or say anything bad about anyone. He thought every girl he knew was absolutely beautiful and every guy was cool as all hell.

So if you’ve ever enjoyed a single post on this site, now you know who started it all. And if you ever come back here to read another post, that opening line belongs to him…..not me. I never could claim ownership of it for a second.

Take care, Morty. Until we meet up again.

You California lovin’, VW bus drivin’, classic rock listenin’, proud-ass owner of Morty’s Pub.

0

Your weekend fun-time planner free of charge

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

Well, my weekend is shaping up to be pretty good despite concerns for my dear, old dad not feeling so well out in Nevada. Other than those worries, there are tons of things happening this weekend to help a man (or woman) get their mind off of stressful things.

As I’ve excitedly mentioned already, my weekend starts tonite when my brother and I hit the Chicago Blackhawks game together at the United Center. It’s their last home game until February 3. We have some sweet tix right behind the glass (OK….three rows back). But it’s the closest I’ll have ever been to the ice and I’m totally jacked. Bro and I are going to hit the cozy sports bar Moretti’s on West Jackson beforehand and have a couple of cocktails before taking their shuttle over to the game. It’s a little thing we do to save money. They will valet park your car for about $10 versus paying your first-born son to the greedy folks at the United Center. Then afterwards, we hightail it back to the bar on foot while the traffic jam ensues in the UC parking lot and have a couple of nightcaps before easily jumping back on the highway and heading home.

And absolutely do not forget to join all of us at Rolling Lanes on Joliet Road in Countryside on Friday night for the big  West 34  gig in the bar. This will be the last reminder I can throw you before they hit the stage. Between the band’s website, this little blog, Facebook, and the guys’ own loyal following, the place looks like it’s going to be packed. So get there by 9:30pm if you have any desire to land a table. Band leader Dave Johnson says they plan to pull out all the stops since this is their first time at this particular venue. It’s a “can’t miss”.

But if for any reason you can’t make it out to “the Lanes” for the  West 34  gig, then you can try and hit bluesman Buddy Guy’s Legends downtown on South Wabash. This one could be a longshot, though. Buddy started his annual string of January dates last Thursday when Chicago got hit with that six inches of snow. It was a cold, miserable day, but according to the Chicago Tribune’s review in the Sunday edition, Buddy was sizzling hot. These are the last gigs he’ll be playing before the current location moves a block or two down the street later this year. Tickets are mostly sold out, but the paper indicated that there are still tickets available for at least 1 or 2 shows before the month runs out. So if this weekend proves impossible to get in, keep it in mind for another night before January ends.

According to the paper, ol’ Buddy mentioned how he recently had a battle with gout, but that he was feeling much better and totally recharged. He did his usual bantering with the crowd and was even up near the front of the bar greeting fans and signing autographs before the show—which is something he usually waits to do until after his set. But apparently he wants to thank his loyal fans and make sure he’s more accessible with this being the last go-round at the old spot.

Let me tell you something, you’re hard pressed to find a better plate of jambolaya and corn bread than Legends. And the catfish bites and okra are out of this world too.

My Cub fan friends would be upset if I didn’t mention the Cubs Convention that runs this weekend. Newly elected Hall of Famer Andre Dawson is going to be there signing autographs and all the rest of the big names will be making their appearances. This is the 25th Convention and I’m sure they’ll be pulling out all the stops too. Ernie Banks, Fergie Jenkins, Ron Santo, Ryne Sandberg, and a long list of other notables will be on-hand.

Not enough excitement for you yet?

Well, the Chicago Boat, RV and Outdoors Show is already running at McCormick Place. It started yesterday and runs thru Sunday the 17th. Last week was the fishing (muskie) show at Harper College. So now this week, you can go and pick out a boat to hit the water in to catch ’em. If you’ve never been to this show, they have a little bit of everything there. They even have a contest scheduled this year with those dogs that leap as far as they can across a 40 foot pool of water. It’s called DockDogs and they show these competitions on ESPN sometimes. Pretty cool.

Friday night, the Bulls host the Washington Wizards at the United Center. I’m afraid the league suspended Gilbert Arenas for that crazy locker room incident, so there won’t be any gun play involved. But that just means you can feel safe bringing the kids now !!

Still nothing that catches your fancy yet? Jesus Christ !

OK…..if you just want to lay around the couch all weekend and veg out, there’s another full slate of NFL playoff games going on. Two games on Saturday and two more on Sunday. Just like last weekend. And if any of the four games come close to the Arizona–Green Bay game from last Sunday, it should be an awesome weekend of pigskin play.

We’ll see if my Indianapolis Colts can keep my prophecy / prediction alive that they’ll win the Super Bowl this year. 

So I don’t know what more I can offer you to drum up a good time this weekend. I did my best here. It also goes to show what a happening, cool place Chicago is just about every weekend. If you don’t think any of these things is worth your precious time……….

….then go back to Russia.

Copyright © 2009-2024 DudeImTellinYa.com All rights reserved.
This site is using the Desk Mess Mirrored theme, v2.5, from BuyNowShop.com.