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A lot of suffering going on at the moment

Posted by Gmoney on January 13, 2010 in catastrophes, family, Haiti earthquake, health, holidays, Port au Prince, Red Cross |

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……..

I can’t say that I have a lot humorous thoughts racing around in my head the last few days. No more celebs to call out on the carpet for their misdeeds. No issues to complain about. None of my whining about being victimized or taken advantage of by one outfit or another.

Most of my thoughts are with two particular people and an entire nation of victims.

My father has been having a tough time with his health lately. He had to be hospitalized recently and as a family we are all concerned and praying that he gets back up on his feet soon. At the same time, obviously, things aren’t easy on my mother. His symptoms /condition isn’t important in this forum. He’s just been very weak and wants to get back to the comforts of home very badly.

It’s always tough to see a strong man held back by health ailments. This guy has the mind of a steel trap when he’s at 100%. Always a voracious reader, he could discuss any topic in the world with you. When he was in the working world before retirement, he was a computer programmer for Leo Burnett Advertising. Always has a witty observation or remark about the absurdities going on around us. Or a teasing, but loving jab to send your way when you put yourself in a position of embarassment. He’s a rabid sports fan which is directly where my brother and I got our passion for them. Living out-of-state, he misses his Chicago sports pages tremendously.

But right now, he’s just trying to regain his strength so he can start going back out to nice dinners with my mother and long walks holding hands like I’ve seen them do for about 35 years now. Always holding hands as they go. Since as far back as I can remember.

And of course my mom is concerned and devoting all of her time and energy to his comfort. The greatest dynamo I’ve ever seen. Got it from her own mother. I never saw a more active, involved person than my grandma. In her 60s, the woman used to be on her hands and knees in the yard pulling weeds, going on “champagne cruises”, selling Stanley home products to her friends and making endless deliveries, having the grandkids over for sleepovers, taking us to Dispensa’s Kiddie Kingdom and tons of other places, going dancing at the Baby Doll Polka Club out by Midway airport, etc. etc.   She had a million friends.

And then when I got old enough to see what my mom was up to, we had ourselves a new champion. Always involved in one club or another…women’s clubs, room mother at school, PTA, a working woman, you name it. As selfless as can be.

One of my childhood memories that often comes into my mind is of the family dinners we had each and every night. Everyone together. And when I was younger, I had to set the table and pour everyone’s milk. Well when you’re pouring milk for 5 people, you go through gallons pretty fast. So many times, I got to the bottom of the carton as I went. And every single time, mom took the 1/4 glass while everyone else had a full one. If everyone else got 2 porkchops and there was an uneven number, guess who settled for one?

So as usual, Mom is doing everything she can to make someone else as comfortable and taken care of as possible.

And just when you start feeling sorry for your family, and after a little while….yourself…….something happens like what happened in Haiti.

There’s reports today that there could be as many as 250,000 people dead. The capital, Port-au Prince, has allegedly been leveled. Practically nothing left. I heard on the television last night that there was only one hospital in the capital. And it collapsed with who knows how many people in it.

The devastation is hard to wrap your mind around. And as I think about my mom and dad battling thru our personal crisis, how many people in Haiti lost their entire families? I’m ready to get together with my sister and her husband, along with my brother, on Friday night for a night out together. How many people out there lost a brother or a sister or both? Besides much less important stuff like their homes and all of their belongings?

So if you are still fortunate enough to have your parents with you or siblings scattered around the globe somewhere, you should give them a call today. Thanksgiving and Christmas just came and went where we all try and get together and show our love for our families. But here is a good reminder that those expressions should be year round and not just on holidays or special occasions. Pick up the phone, or if you can, bop on over to their home and take them out for dinner tonite or tomorrow.

My friends know me as a complainer who often thinks my own little bullshit troubles supercede most other people’s problems. But I can honestly say that over the last 5 days, my troubles mean very little. My thoughts are entirely on other people these days and I’m just sorry it takes something like Haiti to smack me back into reality.

If you’re in a position to do so, make a donation to one of the groups racing out to help the victims in Haiti. If you’re not doing that well financially like so many these days, go to Red Cross and donate a pint of blood. Apparently this devastation is of biblical proportions.

A quarter-of-a-million people possibly dead.

It’s hard to comprehend.

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Confessions and Apologies

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

It seems like we’ve been saturated over the last several months with confessions and semi-believable apologies. The confessions only come out after the sinner is caught red-handed. They would have never come forward if they hadn’t been exposed and it’s obvious they can’t hide the sin anymore. So then we get the tearful apology that would make Meryl Streep proud.

It started well over a year ago when baseball star Roger Clemens was run through the media grinder about his steroid use. His reputation was already soiled by the extramarital affair he carried on with country singer Martina McBride. At least he confessed to the public and his family about that form of cheating. But then his ex-personal trainer, in trying to cover his own ass, exposed both Roger Clemens and fellow pitcher Andy Pettite as steroid abusers. Pettite decided to take the slightly higher road in acknowledging his usage and apologized to the fans and the game of baseball. Now, nobody really even holds it against him.

But Clemens has taken the Pete Rose / Mark McGwire approach to this day. He adamantly denies he ever took steroids and gave a couple of huffy press conferences trying desperately to protect his damaged reputation. Rose finally ‘fessed up to his gambling on baseball after years of denials and expulsion from the game he revered. And until yesterday, McGwire also denied his steroid use which, like Rose and his sins, has cost him his spot in the baseball Hall of Fame. But more on Mac in a minute.

Now that McGwire has come clean, we’re just waiting for Clemens and Sammy Sosa to confess to their underhanded ways. They’re some of the only guys left holding up the wall of deceit.

That’s because Alex Rodriguez…..he of the $250 million contract at the beginning of the millenium…….and now the proud owner of another quarter-billion dollar deal……finally confessed to his steroid usage early in 2009. And we were given the glassy-eyed apology that accompanies all of these confessions on an interview with 60 Minutes. Like Pettite, he is now the proud owner of a new World Series ring, fresh accolades, and many more millions of dollars. Because they confessed and apologized.

So now yesterday, McGwire finally admitted that when he broke the major league single season homerun record in 1998, he was juiced up on steroids. And we got the obligatory glassy-eyed apology to go with it.

What I want to see from all of these allegedly repentant cheaters is a return of the money they basically stole while commiting their fraudulant performances.

For one, I’d like to see MLB (Major League Baseball) immediately strike McGwire’s 1998 season from any charts  / lists for single season performances. His record was already broken by a juiced-up Barry Bonds. But that whole season should be erased from record books and encyclopedias at once. That’s just what baseball should do in the name of integrity for the game.

But if these bozos are really sorry, they should give back the money they “earned” while cheating the public, MLB, and the owners of the teams that signed their paychecks. Alex Rodriguez should give back a good $125 million to Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks. He was the sucker that gave ARod that first contract based on false statistics. And then while playing for Grieve’s team, ARod continued to use steroids putting up additional fake numbers.

McGwire should do the same to the owners of the St. Louis Cardinals. Based on his gargantuan HR totals, McGwire was making a good $10-13 million per year back in 1998-2001. He should give about half of that back if he is really sorry for his actions. The mansion he lives in, the sports cars he drives, the luxury vacations he has taken were all paid for by dirty money he cheated to get. Same for ARod.

But the confessions and half-hearted apologies don’t just apply to sports stars.

Let’s not forget our old buddy David Letterman and his on-air acknowledgment of his own extra-marital affairs. Of course, he kept his mouth shut for years and years and only came forward when the cat was completely out-of-the-bag. Otherwise, Mr. Repentant would still smugly be holding his secret and smirking at his ignorant wife and the adoring viewers.

Same as Tiger Woods. Oh yeah…..he’s sorry now. He’s sorry mostly because of the lost sponsors that will greatly diminish his future income for a while. And he’s sorry for the $500 million dollars (at least) that he’ll surrender to wife Elin when she officially divorces his sorry ass. Least of all is his regret about the indiscretions themselves and the damage he did to his family.

But still the public was given the standard apology prepared by a team of publicists about how remoresful he is, and blah..blah..blah..

At least in the case of Letterman and Woods, I don’t think they need to surrender any earnings they made at their respective professions. Except in potential divorce proceedings. Their sins didn’t really have anything to do with their performances (although Letterman’s indiscretions did take place with work colleagues–oftentimes at the workplace itself). But the sports stars’ sins enhanced their on-field performances–duping team owners to reward them handsomely for fake achievements.

I’ll say this, though. Except for Sosa and Clemens, at least these guys confessed after they were caught red-handed and exposed. Balloon-boy hoaxster Richard Henne is still maintaining that he didn’t pimp out his children and that the whole affair wasn’t a trick, even as he serves a 90 day jail sentence for it. There’s a lot of guys in prison who claim they didn’t do the crime they are accused of….maybe as many as 75-80% . So his claims of innocence are right in line with the other people of his ilk.

But what he, Sosa, and Clemens aren’t seeing is the level of forgiveness we award confessors. There’s not a doubt in my mind that by the summer of 2011, Tiger Woods will have made a triumphant return to the golf links and have most of his sponsorships back as soon as he wins his first tournament. That could be as early as the first tournament he participates in thanks to his talent. Just confess and the public allows you to return to the mega-million dollar lifestyle you had in the first place.

Just ask Andy Pettite. He’ll tell ya.

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1st Week of Football Playoffs Ends With a Bang

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…….

While me and the boys thoroughly enjoy the 17 weeks of the regular season for NFL football, nothing gets us revved up like the playoffs. Everybody is just a little more jacked and instead of focusing on several games at once, we can pour all of our intensity and enthusiasm into just one game at a time. I think I may have mentioned before how my buddy has the NFL package thru his DirectTV. And that we rig up three televisions at once to watch multiple games. Then we get a fourth game going on his TV-sized computer monitor thru NFL.com

But when the playoffs get here, all of our attention is on the same game and the same big plays. All of our commentary and insults are directed toward the same action.

So this past weekend was “Wildcard Weekend” in the NFL with two games on Saturday and then two more on Sunday. I never even left my buddy’s house. A bunch of us watched the Saturday games (along with the Blackhawks) and I just slept on his couch since the first game on Sunday started at noon. I mean, why go home late Saturday just to drive back over there for the noon game on Sunday? Instead, I just crashed over there and we hit a breakfast buffet on Sunday morning so we were all fueled up for Day 2.

The first game of the weekend looked to be the weakest of the four contests. Cincinnati Bengals vs NY Jets. Neither team is exactly an ass-kicker and neither team is flooded with superstars. So this looked to be the battle of mediocrity. However, as is often the case year-after-year, it turned out to be the second best game of the entire weekend. The Jets won it to win a date with the San Diego Chargers next week. Good luck with all that.

Then on Saturday night—-in what I thought would be the marquee matchup of the weekend—-the Dallas Cowboys kicked the crap out of the Philadelphia Eagles for the second straight week. {That was one of the really interesting things about this year’s wildcard games. Three of the matchups were identical pairings from the last week of the regular season last Sunday. The NFL schedule makers must have had Nostradamus with them eight months ago when they designed the schedule}. So this was the third time this year the Cowboys and Eagles were playing each other as they had already battled twice as division foes. Both teams have some big names. They are long-time bitter rivals who have played over 100 times throughout the years. And Philadelphia was coming off an embarrasing ass-whupping by the Cowboys just six days ago.

But apparently they weren’t that pissed as they rolled over for the Cowboys again in what was a surprisingly disappointing game.

So headed into Sunday’s action, we were in need of a nail-biting, rock-solid game. And I thought the Baltimore Ravens and the New England Patriots would provide it. I thought this would be the second best matchup behind the Eagles-Cowboys game. Again, both teams have many stars (Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Tom Brady, Randy Moss, etc). But this game proved to be pretty weak too. The Ravens jumped out to a huge lead in the first quarter and intercepted Brady three times in demolishing the Patriots. The hometown fans were booing the Patriots….as well they should have.

So the two games that had the most elite players in them and looked to be the best on paper turned out to be the least competitive. The boys and I were pretty disappointed thus far as only one game was really exciting. The insults toward Brady and Patriots coach Bill Belichick were flying.

All that was left was the Arizona Cardinals vs Green Bay Packers game. And as mostly die-hard Bears fans, we didn’t want Green Bay to win. But most of all, we wanted to finish with a competitive game. Otherwise the weekend would be rather disappointing.

The teams must have subconciously heard our gripes because they sure didn’t disappoint.

The two teams combined for 96 points and over 1000 combined yards. Both quarterbacks, Kurt Warner and Aaron Rodgers, threw five touchdown passes apiece. There was one big play after another. The Cardinals had jumped out to leads of 17-0 and eventually 31-10. But at one point the Packers scored touchdowns on five straight possessions and tied it at 45-45. They kept burning # 27 of the Cardinals—-some piece of crap named Michael Adams.

Adams got burned on at least a half-dozen big play passes from Rodgers and company. He also got called for three pass interference penalties. After one of them, he even got called for an illegal procedure penalty as he left the field by walking out the back of the end zone instead of via the sideline. None of us had ever heard that penalty called before and between the six of us, there had to be 100 years of football-watching experience in the room. The joke was that the Bears will probably be shipping a first round draft pick to the Cardinals to get this guy.

But what makes the NFL playoffs so great is the irony. After the Cardinals almost perfect placekicker missed a ” chip shot ”  field goal with 14 seconds left to win the game, it went to sudden death overtime. And the Packers won the coin toss. The winner of the coin toss wins the great majority of overtime games. And then it happened.

Aaron Rodgers faded back to pass for the Packers and was rushed hard by a little defensive back closing in quick. Michael Adams nailed Rodgers and forced a fumble that one of Adams’ teammates scooped up and rambled in for the winning touchdown. Once again, the goat of a game became the hero in one single play. Final score:  51-45  (the highest scoring playoff game in NFL history).

One of my buddies said the only thing he usually says after a shocking play {borrowing from Stewie Griffin} — ” What the deuce ? ”

I myself could only offer up my Archie Bunker quote:  ” Good night nurse ! ”

It made me think on the ride home how many movie and TV lines the boys throw out during an afternoon of football. One of my favorites is my own line that I borrow from old-time Mafia lore. I use it whenever a guy gets hurt on the field and it takes 5-10 minutes for them to get his ass off of there.

Back in the ’30s, ’40s, and ’50s, the Chicago Outfit was run by Tony Accardo and to a slightly lesser degree by his managing partner Paul “The Waiter” Ricca. It was one of the very few alliances in mob history that never resulted in a backstabbing. And the old-school Ricca never managed to conquer the English language. So whenever he approved a hit on another mob guy, he would look up and in his calm, quiet way say, ” Make-a-him-a-go-away ” .

But my all-time favorite is my brother’s line. Whenever a player gets creamed from two different directions, my brother always says,

They Malachi’d him ! ” 

or

They just gave him the Malachi crunch ! ”

For those who don’t know or remember, this references back to an episode of 1970s sitcom Happy Days. It was the episode where Fonzie and his girlfriend Pinky Tuscadero were in a demolition derby together. And their chief rivals were the leather jacket wearing bad boys, the Malachi brothers. And their patented move was to sandwich someone on the drivers side and the passenger side with “The Malachi Crunch”. They injured Pinky early in the demo derby with it. And in the end, Fonzie acted like his car was stalled and the Malachi brothers moved in for the kill. But right before they delivered the Malachi Crunch, Fonzie started his car and pulled away. The Malachi brothers hit each other head-on and broke their radiators (ending the derby).

So my brother uses that line 35 years later whenever a player viciously gets creamed from both sides.

God I love NFL football…….and especially the playoffs !!

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Here’s the list of Survivor All-Stars

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

It’s only been about a couple of weeks, but I’m already having Survivor withdrawl. If it wasn’t for the Chicago Blackhawks playing on most Thursday nights, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. It’s just not the same without being able to tune in to the petty arguments and the eccentric behavior of a bunch of marooned goofballs.

Maybe I just miss seeing my girl Monica scampering around in her little “short shorts”.

But on the plus side, the next season already starts on Thursday, February 11 which is just over a month away. The funny thing is that they filmed this All-Star season from August 4 thru September 12, 2009. So when they televised the live finale for last season (Samoa) on December 20, 2009, the All-Star season was already in the can for three months. That’s Hollywood-speak meaning it was already done filming and tucked away for later. That meant that anyone from the just completed Samoa season that is going to be on the All-Stars had already completed a second tour of duty long before the winner of Samoa had even been declared.

Kind of a rough assignnment. You come home from the Samoan islands for perhaps a month and then head right back out for another (perhaps)  39 days in the bush. I would think that gives your opponents a bit of a physical and mental advantage. But if you want a million bucks, I guess that’s what you have to do.

So let’s take a look at the cast of characters that make up the tribes for this upcoming All-Star season.

They decided to pre-populate the tribes using a “good guys” versus “villains” format. So there will be no scenario of captains choosing their tribemates one-by-one. They still might have the tribes elect a leader or captain, but the 20 participants have already been divided into two groups. First, let’s take a look at the “good guys”.

Six of the players on the good guy tribe are coming back for the third time. These six gluttons for punishment are Rupert Boneham (the big guy with the tie dye and the beard), Big James (the buff, black dude who is a gravedigger for a living), Colby Donaldson (who lost a million bucks when he opted to go up against Tina Wesson in the finals instead of a lesser-liked opponent), Cirie (the nurse who grew from a helpless castaway to being able to start fires from scratch), Amanda (who I find to be a rather forgettable player for a 2-timer although she finished 2nd and 3rd in her prior attempts), and finally Stephanie LaGrossa (the hottie, athletic chick that persevered on her own even after her whole tribe had been voted out right away).

Rupert is one of the all-time popular players and is known as the fat guy “nobody liked in high school”. James holds the distinction of being the only player to be voted out twice—both times holding an unplayed immunity idol.

Rounding out the good guy tribe are Sugar (she spent more time on Exile Island than anyone eventually dubbing it the “Sugar Shack”), southern boy J.T. (the fan favorite who lost a tooth in a challenge but eventually won Survivor Tocantins), Tom Westman (the silver-haired NYC fireman who dominated his game and won Survivor Palau), and finally Candice (another pretty forgettable player who jumped tribes when everyone was given the offer to do so—she finished 8th in Cook Islands).

Then we have the “villain” tribe. These are all allegedly players who were a bit more devious and underhanded than most other players.

There are only three players here who will be 3-timers on Survivor after this season. They are Boston Rob (one of my all-time favorites simply because he coined the phrase “Pretty Boy Probst”), Jerri Manthey (the notorious bitch who was also on the last All-Star season), and Parvati (the hot little honey who jumped into a hot tub naked with her boy toy Ozzie one season).

Rounding out the villains are some pretty fun former contestants. We have Tyson (the super skinny dude who made hilarious comments in his “aside” interviews and walked around naked a few times), Crazy Randy (one of the all-time looniest players who started a huge ordeal over a cookie), Sandra Diaz (a former winner and somewhat of a strange selection for the villain tribe as she wasn’t exactly a scoundrel when she won Survivor Pearl Islands), Danielle (a very forgettable player from Survivor Panama), our old friend pot-bellied Russell (who just finished 2nd in Samoa and is one of the all-time best players), the unforgettable Coach (he of the ponytail and the tall tales of his allegedly incredible life as a soccer coach), and finally Courtney (a skinny blond stick from Survivor China).

So those are the 20 players that will come back to entertain us on February 11.

Our man Russell is the only one returning from the just-completed Survivor Samoa. In discussing this roster with a friend who is an avid watcher of the show, he posed the question of whether the villain tribe would look to oust him right away because he is so devious and such a good player. But then we realized that when this All Star season was filmed, they hadn’t even aired the great majority of Survivor Samoa. So really, no one on either All Star tribe was too familiar with Russell, his ability to find immunity idols, and his cunning ways. They had to kind of look at him as a “Who the hell is this ? ” wild card. Maybe he is a good player…and maybe he was just a jerk……..like Randy.

I am going to go WAY out on a limb here and make a prediction on this season. I think Tom the fireman will win it. Then again, jury people don’t like to vote for players that they know are already rich. But Tom has a fatherly nature about him, he has a very admirable occupation, and he is mentally and physically solid. So I am putting my money on good ol’ Tom.

Really, I’m just looking forward to drooling over Stephanie and Parvati again.

Or as Homer Simpson would say, “Mmmmmm…….Parvati…”

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More crazy-ass stories in the news

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………..

There’s some news stories coming out in the last few days that are of the variety that just make you shake your head. Could the Mayans be right? Is the world coming to an end in just over 1000 days? If we all keep acting like this, something has gotta give.

Apparently there’s a new book coming out on mediocre actor Warren Beatty. I never found him to be any sort of great thespian. Maybe I can name three movies by him: Heaven Can Wait, Dick Tracy, and Ishtar.

Holy shit !! When I typed that, I really didn’t think I could. But there ya go. They all sucked pretty much. But someone has deemed him worthy of a book and the word is that his celebrated sex life is even more celebrated than we might have thought. According to the book, he’s slept with upwards of 12, 775 women. Now that’s a pretty precise number, don’t ya think? Is this one of those guys who literally has notches on his bedpost that we can count? If it’s true, then I tip my hat to him. And I’ll flip for a shot of penicillin for him too.

That’s an impressive number. It puts him right up there with Paul Stanley of KISS. But nowhere near the record of 20,000 by Wilt Chamberlain. At least that’s the unofficial record. And people thought Tiger Woods was some sort of stud. Not.

Then we have news that there was a third party crasher at the White House dinner bash a little while back. The exact same party as the couple who got caught sneaking in. Jesus Christ……I remember being turned away from one or two parties in high school because the bashes were too big to let anyone else in. And I was a pretty popular guy (at least in my own mind). But it looks like all you need is a rented tux and some balls and you’re partying with Barack and Michelle. Throwing down kamikazees and playing quarters with Hillary Clinton, Tony Blair, and Colin Powell.

Give it a couple more weeks and they’ll be telling us that there were more people there the Obamas didn’t know versus those they did. You gotta hand it to those Secret Service guys. About the only ones who seemingly weren’t at that bash are Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

Then we have the two jackasses in the NBA who pulled guns on each other in the locker room. It seems that Gilbert Arenas, he of the recently signed $111 million dollar contract, wouldn’t pay up on a bet of some sort that amounted to around $500. So when he was confronted for the money by his teammmate, a heated argument ensued. Both guys grabbed their guns from their lockers. Now I expect this sort of thing in the NFL. But with football foul-up Plaxico Burress cooling off in the slammer, someone had to pick up the torch of waving around gats and acting like idiots.

Gilbert Arenas claims it “was a joke gone bad”. Hey, I’ve had a gun pointed at me before and I wasn’t smiling when it happened. The real funny thing is that if he is charged with any sort of felony for unlicensed weapons or pointing it with intent (or whatever)……the Washington Wizards can cite a clause in his new contract and cancel the remainder of Arenas’ deal. He’d be out around $100 million dollars over a $500 disagreement. And he could wind up as Plaxico’s “cellie”. Nice joke there, slappy.

Is everybody losing their damn mind as we get closer to 12/21/2012 ???

Have you caught up with these ads on TV yet where Taco Bell is trying to push their food as a dietary aid? It looks like they’re trying to get on the Subway / Jared bandwagon. They’re claiming they have a selection of low-cal options that can help keep you from getting fat while still pigging out on Taco Bell food. There’s a couple of things wrong with this. For one, every option on the Taco Bell menu is the same damn thing with a different name. Isn’t it? They just take one ingredient out of one item and insert more cheese or zesty hot sauce and call it something else. Plus, I and everyone I know hates Jared and those friggin’ ads for Subway. Somebody give that dude a royal ass-kicking already, will ya?

But if Taco Bell wants to play that game, fine let’s play. Throw me six figures to do a series of ads and I’ll lose 40-50 lbs to make it look good. It’ll be thru exercise and salads, but I’ll get on the tube and claim I eat their low-cal options. I actually like Taco Bell food and eat there somewhat frequently. That’s also why I look more like Jack Black than Terrell Owens.

Finally, we have a woman in Ohio who punched thru a McDonalds drive-thru window because they didn’t have chicken McNuggets available. I mean….are we serious? For real? Those things taste like ass. She had to actually be treated for injuries to her hand before the cops could complete the arrest.

I’m telling you the world is going nuts. On 12/21/09, you could say there was exactly three years to go if the Mayan’s calendar predicting the end of the world is correct. And according to my calculator, 365 x 3 = 1095 days to go. Factor in one more for the extra Leap Year day in February 2012. So around April of this year, we should be right around the 1000 days-to-go-mark.

But the way everyone is acting so goofy, I think we should maybe just cut to the chase here. Let’s turn out the lights right now and call it a millenium. Or at the very least……

…disband the Secret Service, throw Gilbert Arenas and his playmate in jail, force McDonalds to stop even offering McNuggets, and tell Taco Bell to stop trying to bullshit us.

Oh, and if he wants us to believe him, Warren Beatty better come up with some names and addresses besides Madonna and Annette Bening too.

And that’s the crazy-ass stories in the news. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

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New year off to a bang already

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

So far the year is only four days old. But in several regards, it’s already off to a flying start. At least in Chicago and the surrounding area.

First off, I want to remind you about the  West 34  gig coming up at Rolling Lanes in Countryside, IL on Friday, January 15. I wrote about these guys in the December 7, 2009 post. This is the first time they’re playing this bar and the lead guitarist, “Big Wave” Dave Johnson said they are looking to pack the place–and then blow the freakin’ roof off it. Here’s the specifics:

West 34
Rolling Lanes Bowling alley (bar)
6301 Joliet Road in Countryside, IL.
Friday, January 15, 2010 at 9:30pm

I said it before, and I’ll say it again. These guys are the best band I know personally that plays out in the area. They do a wicked combination of hard rock, classic rock, and blues. They were named the house band at America’s Historic Roadhouse (formerly Walter Payton’s Roundhouse) out in Aurora where they will be the night before they play at Rolling Lanes. Check out the blistering guitar work of both Dave J. and Tim Majewski. They added a new bass player in the last three months or so and Dave tells me this guy has added yet another awesome dimension to the band that will have people floored.

Oh, the drummer kicks some major ass too. He even throws in some vocals every now and then along with Tim and Dave.

So mark this down on your calendar. It’s a “can’t miss”. There will be a large contingent of supporters from the dudeimtellinya.com website as well as LTAlumni.com —-both websites having a large following that has known Dave J. for a good twenty years.

So what other Chicago ass kickers are getting it done already in 2010?

The Chicago Blackhawks followed up a New Years Eve bitch slap on one of the two best goalies ever in the NHL….Martin Brodeur and his New Jersey Devils…….with a spanking of our rival St Louis Blues on Saturday night. The Blues thought they were going to come out and roughhouse the Hawks in the first period. It was a really fun, scrappy game to watch. Tons of scrums and penalty minutes. And when it was all said and done, the Hawks had a 6-3 victory. Then on Sunday night, they finished the weekend by spanking the Anaheim Ducks 5-2 to move to 29-10-3 on the season. They’ve won 10 of their last 12.

These guys are just phenomenal. They are so young and fast. Everyone contributes. It reminds me so much of the Hawks teams of the early ’90s. We don’t have to rely on a Jonathan Toews or a Marian Hossa to score. One night it might be Troy Brouwer. Another night it might be Andrew Ladd. We have a half-dozen guys with 10 or more goals already. Hossa scored 2 on Sunday night to give him 8 goals already in his injury shortened season. The Saturday night game marked the half-way point of the season for the Hawks. What if all seven guys finish with 20+ goals? When was the last time that happened?

It wasn’t too long ago when Eric Daze or Steve Sullivan would lead the team with 27 or 28 tops.

My brother scored a pair of tix three rows behind the glass for January 14 thru his job. So he and I will be at the United Center on Thursday the 14th and then rockin’ out with the band the next night at “the Lanes”.

A little farther south in the state down in Carbondale we have my alma mater kicking some ass in college hoops. Southern Illinois University outscored Bradley 14-2 in the final 90 seconds on New Years Day to win it. That gave them six wins in a row and left them at 10-2 on the season. This is a team to watch as they have some really talented underclassmen that are starting to blossom at the college level. At least two of these guys….and I’m thinking three….were ranked among the nation’s Top 100 recruits when they signed with SIU out of high school. That’s the sort of commitments you expect the University of Illinois or Indiana University to achieve. Or so they hope.  

Hopefully SIU can return to the NCAA tournament this March. That’ll give me another reason to hook up with my old college roomie and hit the bar for a couple of coldies. He may be joining me for the  West 34  gig on the 15th too. He’s a good man……..a really good guy. I mean, c’mon….he’s a fellow Saluki for chrissakes.

The NFL finished up it’s regular season yesterday. And lo and behold, the Chicago Bears won their final two games. When they upset the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football last week, it was still the waning days of 2009. But when they whipped up on the Detroit Lions yesterday, that meant they are starting 2010 off at 1-0. We’ll see how long that winning streak lasts come this September.

Factor in the Chicago Bulls pasting of the first place Orlando Magic on Saturday night and they are also 1-0 on the new year. That gave them four wins in a row and they look like they’re starting to come around. They may just reach that 41-41 mark that I prophecized in my Dirty Dozen predictions.

So no one (important) has really lost yet in the year 2010 as far as Chicago sports teams go. And with the sweet hockey tickets from bro and the band’s gig coming up soon, the year seems to be off to a pretty good start.

Now all I need is for the Bears to fire Lovie Smith and offensive coordinator Ron Turner and bring in some new blood. Sure, they won the last two games of the season, but something has got to change there. Two of their seven wins this year were against the Lions.

And that simply ain’t good enough for me and the boys.

Oh…….pitchers and catchers report in about 60 days for baseball.

Only January 4 and it just keeps getting better and better. Check out my boy’s site for more info on West 34 :

www.west34.com

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Asshole of the Month: December 2009

Dude, I’m tellin ya………..

I was tempted to forego selecting an Asshole of the Month for December and instead giving a huge honor to the overall 2009 Asshole of the Year. Really, that was just an idea to take the easy way out. I was finding the pickings somewhat slim this month.

Some would say that Tiger Woods would be a good candidate as one  ‘ho after another crawled out from underneath their rock and said they screwed him. But in the end, the man is guilty of two chief things. One, he is guilty of infidelity and betraying his family. And two, he smashed an SUV into a tree. That’s about it. Not much else there.

I’ll give you this………OK…he’s an asshole. A real shit slinger. But I don’t think he’s deserving of such a fine honor as my Asshole of the Month.

As he has been since September, Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith is a candidate. But this is more of a personal thing. I think the man is probably beloved outside of Chicago with his asinine play calling and his perpetually unprepared team. The Bears are the perfect tonic for a struggling team. So they love him. And the flatulence that escapes his mouth after every pathetic loss drives me nuts…….but he’s only an asshole in Chicago.

So I couldn’t go with him.

Finally, a real pimple on the ass of society presented himself in the final days. This month’s Saturday splatter is in a similar vein to last month’s anal conquistador. In November we had to deal with that shit stain Nidal Malik Hasan that shot up Ft. Hood in Texas. Now a month later we have a new turd burglar on the scene trying to wreak havoc. And we’re back to airplanes.

Ladies I gentlemen, may I present to you the winner of the Asshole of the Month for December 2009……….

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab  { UFA  }   !!!!!

The name not sound familiar? Just looks like the gobbledy gook on the eye chart at your optometrist’s office? This is the steaming pile of camel dung that tried to blow up the Detroit-bound airliner on Christmas Day. Yet another walking sphincter with three names that would score big points in a game of Scrabble. Because I refuse to keep typing his full name, we’ll refer to him as UFA from here on. I don’t want this butt bandit to actually claim a victim by giving me carpal tunnel with his endless, bullshit moniker.

And as long as we’re trimming names down to 3 letter acronyms, let’s not forget to mention the rectal rejects at the CIA. Apparently the terrorist’s own father went to them and expressed his grave concerns over his son’s disenchantment and growing extremist views. And then the report sat for weeks and was never disseminated to those who are supposed to be keeping their eyes out for these tools.

Once again, like Pearl Harbor and allegedly  the 9/11 attacks, a powerful government agency had advance information that if they acted upon it, they might have thwarted an enemy attack. Here we live in a country that throws more of its own citizens in jail than any other on the globe……and whenever we can stop an aggressive move by a foreign aggressor, we drop the ball. Our law enforcement and the general enforcers (like airport security) —-who are supposed to be protecting our safety—-are too busy locking us up over much more harmful things like meeting their New Years Eve DUI quotas, on-line gambling, on-line porn, and confiscating things like marijuana,  bongs, and fireworks.

But if you want to infiltrate our army and shoot up a camp, or crash a White House dinner party, or board a plane with an explosive device even after your very own blood reported you……….we grant you carte blanche. The CIA used to be one of the most feared bodies in the world. Even by the very citizens of the United States. Today, they are a perfect example of why the US is so vulnerable time after time.

I’m going on a cruise next year in which I will fly to Miami for departure. If I try to smuggle a few buds of pot on that plane, or even flip-flop my hair shampoo for some coconut rum, I’ll likely end up with a nightmare of legal hassles and possible jail time. I’d be detained and harassed until I ‘fessed up to the Kennedy assassination. But a Prickasaurus like UFA can get on-board an aircraft no problem and almost create a Christmas tragedy.

So this makes two terrorists in two months with six names between them. How many more of these anal assassins will we be exposed to?

It also goes to show that the hatred by these douche bags is so intense that our new, peaceful, open-arms administration is wasting their time. I don’t fault the administration for promoting peace, diplomacy, tolerance, understanding, and all of the other ideals that Obama stressed in his inauguration speech. I want those things too. Most everyone does. But we were told that it was the Bush administration that had fostered so much scorn against the US.

Well, it’s been just short of a full year with our new, more likable administration. The President is almost 25% done with his term. And obviously, these suicidal shit-for-brains hate us as much as ever. They’ll never stop.

So what we need to start doing is to stop locking up our own people over frivolous bullshit. Stop worrying so much about taking Big Brother pictures at intersections for lousy traffic violations, stop pouring so many resources into busting potheads and teen parties, stop chasing after bookies and poker rooms, stop going after manufacturers of pirate DVDs, ticket scalpers, etc etc.

You know….the people that currently overcrowd our jails, flood our system, and waste time & resources.

On behalf of America….pretty please……with the sugar on top…….start paying attention to the real dangerous people. Start with those people with three names or more that have a lot of  ‘ Abduls ‘ and ‘ Hasans ”  in ’em.

Call it profiling. Call it racism. Disagree with me. Whatever. 

But after all, it’s people like that who have won the last two Asshole of the Month awards.

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Counting my blessings for 2009

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……..

I’ve noticed in the last 30 days or so how a handful of people have addressed me in a very soothing, friendly, caring tone about how I shouldn’t worry; the year 2010 is going to be much better ” than this past year was for me “. These reassurances come from people that care about me and are very sincere in their positive thoughts toward me. I really appreciate them and their encouragement for sure.

I’ve made similar spoken gestures to some friends that “2010 is going to rock for both of us !  ” . But I’m not telling them that their 2009 was awful or disappointing. I’m just saying that the coming year is going to be a kick-ass one. There’s no reference to their past year at all. The well wishes I receive almost always point out how bad 2009 has been for me.

But despite the challenging year it has been on a financial level, 2009 wasn’t all that bad for me. Really, no shit….it wasn’t. I know I bring it on myself with all the griping, grousing, and bitching that I do. But the people who are the most close to me……the ones that really know me….understand me and my sense of humor….they know that I am kidding 90% of the time when I bitch and moan. It’s a comedy act. Call it a defense mechanism. Whatever. But most of my tirades are of a George Carlin tilt. There’s always some chuckles to be found within. I’ve been told that if I took some of my “anger” and “resentment” up on-stage and polished it into a proper show, I might make some coin. 

So I do acknowledge that to those people who don’t know me well…..which I guess is about 3/4 of my acquaintances……they think I’m often mad or unhappy. There’s an assumption that 2009 sucked. Hell, I said it sucked big-time in my last post (yesterday). But the entire post about my 2010 resolutions was meant in a humorous vein. That’s what most of the people in my real-life daily encounters seem to miss about me and my personality. I guess I’m just not that damn funny.

The truth is, except for a dented sense of self-esteem from having nowhere to report to every day—-and the resulting financial burden—-2009 wasn’t all that bad a year for me. I’ve enjoyed it.

In January, I was fresh out-of-work and we had a new incoming President ready to take office on 1/20/09. Nobody…..and I mean nobody was hiring. Even so, my work ethic and personal drive saw me apply for 30-40 jobs and garner my first interview of the year. I’d been out-of-work for three weeks and already broke that barrier down. The almighty interview.

But with no one really hiring before Obama got sworn in and started implementing his strategies for the economy, it was a dead market. So while it was bitter cold out and a slushy, snowy mess most days, I was sleeping late and enjoying the holidays and ready to get back to hardcore job searching in February.

Which I did. And I haven’t stopped.

In the meantime, I’ve again put the work ethic that my parents gave me in motion and have found at least a dozen ways to make money this year. I’ve done everything from the traditional odd jobs of helping people move furniture and other manual labor to donating plasma twice per week at the local center. I’ve gone to focus groups downtown and answered on-line surveys. There’s been product trials like toilet paper and dishwashing detergent for cash rewards. A friend of mine throws me an occasional computer project.

Thru careful, conservative game play and a strategic approach to when I play, I’ve made money in 2009 playing Texas Hold ‘Em on-line. I just won an 18-man tournament on Christmas Eve for $72. It’s not a mint, but that’s not the first time I’ve won over $70 in these things. And my original out-of-pocket investment was $60. I have that back in my wallet and now play with “their money”. One of my keys is to only play one tourney per sitting. If I win, I don’t think I’m “hot” and try to win another tourney back-to-back. I walk away. And if I lose my game, I don’t get mad and try to force a victory in the very next game. Again, I walk away.

So when I lose, it is typically $5.50.

And when I win, it’s somewhere between $9 and $250.

There’s a number of other ways I have made some spending money in 2009. And thru those earnings, I went to 5 baseball games this year. That’s the most in about four or five years—when I was working all the time. I’ve already been to 3 Chicago Blackhawks games this year and now my brother just scored us tickets five rows behind the glass for January 14th. Again, that will make the most Hawks games I’ve been to in 6 -8 years.

From about May thru October, I took a nice 12-14 mile mountain bike ride or a brisk 5 mile walk any damn time I felt like it. The most exercise I have had in almost ten years. I loved having the summer off and getting outdoors every single day.

The highlight of 2009 though was easily the Caribbean cruise that I went on with my entire family for my parents’ 45th anniversary. I was six months into unemployment and I there I was swimming in the crystal clear water of Megan’s Bay in St. Thomas  (Virgin Islands). That was just a few days after I hit four deuces in the ship’s casino to the tune of $250. Spending the quality time with my entire family, the hot women, the beautiful weather, the food, the drinks……..easily the highlight of 2009.

Factor in stuff like seeing the Dick Ourada Band three times, my buddy Dave Johnson’s band West 34  five or six times, my buddy Phill’s annual summer BBQ extravaganza, his annual Christmas party spectacular, the Bulls and Hawks playoff runs this past April/May with all my buddies at the bar……..

…….going for the best hot wings in Illinois (and a few coldies) every other Friday afternoon with my former coworker/mentor Steve and often my brother, getting together with all of the guys in my fantasy baseball league numerous times to talk some ball and drink a few beers, having dinner over at Phill’s countless times with his family all year long, the whole recent holiday season with my sister and her family…………

……the women that have taken pity on me and gone out for dinner, drinks, movies, etc. throughout the year {and sometimes settled for the diner at the local bowling alley}, the housing arrangement I secured where I went from a 800 ft. condo to a 3 BR house with a backyard, the fact that I just played in the Super Bowl of my fantasy football league after a great season (I lost the Bowl), the good times and the laughs with all of the boys I watch football with every Sunday………

……..of course all of the new people I met this year and the new friends I made here, there, and everywhere.

So I’m hoping you can see how much I enjoyed 2009. I do hope 2010 is a better year for me simply in that then it will truly kick some ass.  

And I’ll be buying y’all drinks along the way as it does.

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My resolutions for 2010

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…….

Well, the end of the year is coming near and not a moment too soon. I think I speak for the majority of us who feel that 2009 sucked.

Big time.

So with that in mind, I am pretty jacked for the coming year. It absolutely can’t get any worse. I was out of work all 52 weeks of 2009 and pretty light on money the entire time. I had to give up my little condo to join forces with a roommate. There were many nights of the infamous “Metallica hand sandwich “. That is when the band Metallica was so poor and destitute that they had a piece of bologna on the palm of their hand. With mustard. And that’s known as the “hand sandwich” —for those people who don’t know what it’s like to be down-and-out.

No bread required.

But being pretty optimistic about 2010, I have a handful of resolutions that I am adamant about keeping. It’s all about self-improvement, baby.

So in no particular order, here are the promises that I have made to myself: 

—- No matter how many lives need to be sacrificed or how many billions of dollars spent, I will win my fantasy baseball league in 2010.

—-I will get off of Obama’s payroll very, very soon and resume the life of an eccentric, gruff, if not lovable tax-paying son-of-a-bitch. And upon doing so, I will then resume the usual bitching about the long hours, the unappreciative boss, the stress, and the general morons populating the office; immediately re-adopting the (delusional) sense of entitlement I abandoned about 12 months ago. After all, it’s the American way.

—-I will take a cruise in 2010 courtesy of a freebie from one of those vacation package joints that couldn’t say “Yes ” as many times as I could say “No ” at one of their high-pressure bullshit sessions. Thanks, suckers.

—-With God as my witness, in 2010 I will surrender my guilty pleasure of getting drunk and searching for on-line episodes of The Two Coreys and I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.

—-I promise to stop drunken texting at 2AM in 2010. That means that about 37 women are breathing a huge sigh of relief right now.

{Editor’s note: This does not mean I won’t drunkenly text you at 1AM or 3AM. Just be glad that I’m not a drunken caller on the telephone. And let’s leave it at that.}

—-Come hell or high water, I will get out to Las Vegas this year to visit my parents. And I don’t care if I have to rip off some vacation outfit a second time to make it all happen; an outfit that has no idea who the hell they are up against.

{Editor’s note: I attended the Chicago Blackhawks game Sunday night and right upon entering the stadium doors, I was accosted by a guy from the exact same vacation outfit asking me to join his mega-drawing. I was so tempted to sign up again and try to weezle a trip to Vegas out of them}.           Man, are those vacation people accomodating, or what? Maybe the next game I go to….I’ll do it.

—-I promise to totally lay off of Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith, Flavor-Flav, Corey Feldman, balloon boy hoaxster Richard Henne, Martha Stewart, Andy Dick, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Richard Simmons as long as they collectively agree to cut their throats and quit pissing the rest of the world off.

—-I vow not to sink down to Evan Williams whiskey in 2010. I just won’t do it. Nor Early Times either.  I went from Jack Daniels down to Jim Beam in 2009. I won’t go any lower. I just won’t.  Nope.  Won’t do it.

{Editor’s note: To aid in this effort, please send all donations to the usual address:

1234 Fake Street
Springfield

Thank you in advance for all of your generous contributions}.  

—-I vow to continue to give groups such as ComEd, Nicor, Comcast, the United States government, local and federal law enforcement, the Dixie Chicks, Discover Card, and all the other evil entities in this world as much hell and hostility as I can drum up. Just for shits and giggles, ya know what I mean?

—-I vow to cut back on my overall drinking in 2010. While this could result in several liquor stores closing and a devastating effect on the economy, I think my liver will thank me. And if it doesn’t, I’ll drown that ungrateful organ in a river of gin and whiskey.

So those are my chief resolutions for the upcoming year. I know they won’t be easy to accomplish, but I’m pretty determined.

You eat enough hand sandwiches and you’d be surprised how much energy you have.

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The Dirty Dozen Prophecies…….An Update

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………..

Back on November 5, 2009 I posted a dozen predictions/prophecies about the next 14 months in the world. Because things have been just as wacko in the last 6 weeks as it ever is, I thought it would be fun to see how many I have come close to in just these 6 weeks. For the complete post, see:    The Dirty Dozen 

But here is a simplified summary of what they were:

1)  The Chicago Bears will be no better than 8-8 this year even though they were 4-3 when I posted. Really, I envisioned a 7-9 season.
2)  The Chicago Blackhawks will make the NHL Conference Finals at a minimum
3)  The Chicago Bulls will finish 43-39 at the very best. Really, I envisioned a 42-40 record
4)  Jake Peavy will thrive in 2010 with the Chicago WhiteSox and the Cubs will unload Milton Bradley and sign a big-name free agent.
5)  The Indianapolis Colts will win the Super Bowl
6)  Severe terrorist attack in the US borders within 3-5 months
7)  A major music star under the age of 45 will pass away
8)  A really huge, high profile couple will file for divorce
9)  Xmas sales will suck this holiday season due to the economy still being 100% horseshit
10)  A really aggressive move involving world enemies will take place horrifying the rest of the globe
11)   It will be a real brutal, deadly winter not seen in decades
12)   Fidel Castro or Kim Jong-il will die before 12/31/10

 So let’s see how we’re doing here…………

1) The Bears are currently 5-9 and hopeless. In the post, I said they would be 8-8 at best. But that they could be 7-9 or God forbid even 6-10. I’m already chalking this one down as a winner. They could conceivably finish a dismal 5-11. But we do play the Lions on the last week of the season. So hopefully it doesn’t end up any worse than 6-10. But this one is going in the “prophecy fulfilled” column.

2) The Blackhawks are 23-9-3. They had three shutouts in their last four games prior to losing last night. They are kicking ass and taking names. Marian Hossa is healthy again and getting in on all of the fun. Everything looks great on this prophecy, but obviously it is too early to make a determination.

3) The Chicago Bulls suck. Two nights ago, they blew a 35 point lead and lost the game. That’s right….you read that correctly; a 35 point lead. They are currently 10-17. I’m not so sure about finishing 43-39 or even 42-40 anymore. They are not looking too good. But the Bulls have been a strong second-half team the last several years and could make a run at finishing right around .500      So again, this one is a bit too early too tell.

4) Way too early to determine anything about 2010 baseball. Although the Cubs did unload Milton Bradley and finalized their ownership issues. Many top free agents remain unsigned and the Cubs are now free to reign one in.

5) The Indianapolis Colts are 14-0 and looking awesome. The only unbeaten team in the league. But of course, we’ll have to see if they do indeed win the Super Bowl. So we’ll check back on this one later.

6) In the last 6 weeks, there have been no major terrorist attacks within US borders and I hope there never is again. But obviously, this prophecy needs more time to pan out.

7) I came close recently on this one. I’m not happy about it or celebrating anyone’s demise. But actress Brittany Murphy died the other day. I went back to see if I had predicted a major actress/singer would pass away unexpectedly or did I just clarify it as a major singer. It turns out I did specify that it would be a major music star. And to be honest with you, even if I had included the acting world (male or female), I wouldn’t have counted Brittany Murphy. It’s a terrible story and she left behind many, many grieving loved ones and fans. But she was not on the A-list level that I am predicting.

It would have to be someone that is a mega-star. Not just a headline when they pass away and a few tributes. I’m talking downright shock in the world of pop culture and music. A name that is celebrated and then dissected in all of the gossip shows and stalker shows. A real jaw-dropper.

But regardless, being an actress, Brittany Murphy did not count.

8) I’m looking really good on this one. Thank you very much Tiger Woods. I have a ton of confidence in this prophecy coming to fruition. Am I happy that a marriage is destroyed and their kids will now have a broken home? Of course not. But hey…..I didn’t stick it to 150 waitresses and dancers and whomever else. SO GET OFF ME !!   Woooot.

9) I really didn’t have a lot of information on how the holiday sales were going. But the snowstorm that just battered the East coast and forced the closure of many shops and even some malls brought in some retail sales feedback. Here is what the AP said in summarizing how the bad weather could be “disasterous” for the final shopping days:

The snowstorm caps what is expected to be a lackluster holiday season for the retail industry. The National Retail Federation has called for a drop of 1.0 percent in dollar value compared to last year for the season, which often is critical for sales and profits.

So it doesn’t sound like it was a kick-ass Christmas shopping season. And now here we are on December 23 and in the final days of the shopping season, and the snowstorm out East could result in some pretty negative final numbers. They say the on-line shopping will benefit from the bad weather. But that doesn’t help all the stores and malls that need big sales.

I’ll wait until early January to hear how economists describe the final results of the 2009 holiday shopping trends.

10) No country has made an aggressive move on a hated enemy in the last 6 weeks. Thank God. At least not on a scale in which I prophesied. And like my prediction #6 about a terrorist attack soon on US soil…….I hope big-time that this one is wrong.

11) The actual winter season just started a few days ago, so it’s still a long ways away from knowing how this one turns out. But that winter blast on the East coast disrupting the shopping season was a nice start toward me being correct on this prediction. I’m in Chicago and it’s snowing as we speak. I cleaned off my truck at noon, and it needs to be cleaned again. So we’re off to a good start on this being a brutal, snow-filled winter. We’ll check back in another 6 weeks and see where we stand.

12) Finally, neither of these two world leaders….and general pain-in-the-asses…..haven’t kicked the bucket in the last 6 weeks. So this one has a long way to go. Keep your fingers crossed.

—–So that’s how it stands so far. One of my prophecies has indeed come true (the Chicago Bears). And the Blackhawks, the Colts, and the high-profile celebrity divorce predictions are off and running. So we’ll give it another 6 weeks and then a few more of these should be more settled.

We’ll see if Elin has officially filed for divorce on Tiger by then.

The poor thing.

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